I don't plan on dating for a very longtime. At least until I know my mental health is solid and I have a good support system. I made a post a few days ago that nobody should be dating while they're vulnerable. However, I still had this question in mind.
I recently found out a YouTuber I enjoy watching (her name is Ashley, she was in the military but she makes silly videos about using far too much hair gel) was cheated on by her husband. She immediately took on the guilt and said she felt like she wasn't enough.
That broke my heart and I could relate heavily. Especially she when said "you start looking in the mirror and you dont even like things you used to like about yourself anymore".
Every time I was dumped or played by scrotes, myself esteem tanked with the relationship. So fdsers, what are your tips for avoiding that feeling like you "lost"? I noticed in the past I would start checking out the woman he cheated with and comparing myself and my life to hers.
I hated how a scrotes behavior caused me to compete with women. And I hate that pickmes enable these nvm by not doing a single thing, or even going as far to BLOCK YOU when you try to warn them.
Solidarity among women isn't even celebrated. You'll get accuse of being jealous and bitter trying to save another woman from pain and wasting her time
Never feel to blame if a man cheats. Beautiful, successful women get cheated on all the time. Cheating is a character defect- cheaters get off on deception. It is about having their cake and eating it, too. It has nothing to do with choosing the other woman over you. Are you familiar with ChumpLady.com? Should be required reading for all women. Trust that they suck and leave them to live with their shitty selves.
It's hard when it first starts but the steps are:
- Look at yourself and figure out what you love about yourself. You didn't "lose" as he wasn't worth anything anyway and he was bound to do it whatever the circumstances were.
- understand that they were going to cheat regardless and men basically use us as a free ride through life until they feel comfy/bored enough to start cheating. Ultimately we were always objects to them and they get off if we actually get insecure about it because it gives them power and the ability to "own" multiple women's attention. It was literally all a rues and if you placed him in another country like a little checker piece he'd learn the language and do the exact same thing all over again.
That is so sad, I hope she can look past that soon and I hope she doesn't give up making videos.
Don't do anything for men. Only do thing for yourself and when they leave you lost nothing, Don't be barbera the builder, don't support them or look after them like their own mother would.