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Hey everyone! I’m over the moon right now because my boyfriend of 5 years just proposed, and I’m still in shock. He completely surprised me (I honestly didn’t see it coming!), and of course, I said YES! I’m so excited to marry him and start this new chapter together.
There’s just one little problem… I love him and everything about the proposal, but I’m not sure how I feel about the engagement ring. It’s a beautiful cushion cut ring from DiamondNet, and while it’s stunning, I’ve always dreamed of having either a pearl or oval cut engagement ring. I know he put a lot of thought into this, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful at all, but I can’t shake this feeling that it’s not quite me.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? I’m torn because I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but at the same time, I’d love to have a ring that reflects my personal style. Any advice on how to handle this situation gently? Should I bring it up, or just embrace the ring and move on? I feel stuck, and I’d appreciate any thoughts!
So you've been together 5 years and he still doesn't know/care about your tastes and preferences well enough to choose a suitable ring? Nah, sis.
5 years? That's a shut up ring. He knows you don't like this ring and that's why he chose it. If he was really serious about you you would be married for the past 3 years.
I didn’t love my first ring and I actually chose it.. it was a 2ct oval cut and I thought it was what I really wanted but after wearing it for a while I felt like it was a little too big/attention grabby and didn’t really match up with my style. I felt bad bringing it up because it was literally what I asked for, but eventually I just talked to him. He was totally happy to get me another ring that was more my style, now I have two :) I don’t really wear the other one but I loooove the new one. If he’s the right one for you he’d be happy to get you the ring you want, especially since the first one was him guessing
If you go back to the same place where he got the ring, they’ll usually let you exchange it for something else. I’d talk to him about it - you’re going to have to wear it for the rest of your life. You should like the ring.
Why can’t he buy you two rings?
You can keep the one you have now, and he can buy you another one that you like better.
And why stop at two rings? Who says you have to wear the same one or two rings on your ring finger for the rest of your life?
My take is if he’s going to be your husband, he’d better get used to buying you things you like.
I think if you’re getting married you should be able to talk about this with him.
Usually before an engagement the man will be asking for photos of rings you like or ask if you want a traditional diamond or something different or what kind of cut etc.
maybe you didn’t do this because you seemed surprised by the proposal but it’s just good sense to have this discussion first.
I think sometimes you can exchange the ring, so I’d talk to him ASAP about this.
I see there’s a few comments on here saying 5 years is too long but I think it depends on how old you were when you first started dating or your personal preference for when you want to marry etc.
I hope for your sake this isn’t a shut up ring but 5 years is a long time to me personally.
This could be a good convo to see if he’s scrotey or if this is a shut up ring.
Good luck and congratulations on your engagement.
Sell it and when he asks why you're not wearing it, tell him the truth: it was ugly (that is of you haven't dumped him already because 5 yrs is too long for him to propose--he doesn't love you and feels like he's settling.)