Help to keep my ex blocked for good this time

Write yourself a list of everytime he came short, disappointed, or hurt you. Read it everytime you want to unblock him.

Compile a list of all of the low-value behavior he has exhibited and read the handbook on these behaviors to open your eyes about his worth. Let all of it sink in. It is not an easy process but you CAN do it. Hope your healing begins soon sis.

Hey, Alethea! I think you need something to keep you interested. To be honest, after a relationship that lasted 10 years, I'd take some time off from the dating world. My advice is, try to find your true self without your ex, because in some cases you can start defining yourself with your relationship if it's a long and safe one. I'd actively avoid thinking about romance and take this free time as an opportunity to improve myself (As I'm doing right now after a 1.5y relationship tho it's like nothing compared to yours lol). If you can't trust yourself with blocking, maybe you should take a break from the social medias you follow him for a few months, just deactivate your instagram account if you can, it's really refreshing and try to find more things to do that you enjoy, like if you're into painting take a class (we have free classes here, you can look it up if you have same kind of courses around you), or you can research/get into some stuff like I wanted to understand the crypto money and I just watched a lot of things on youtube about it, keeping your mind busy really can ease your feelings

I recommend the book "it's called a breakup because it's broken". It has advice to commit to stay blocked for 30-90 days. That is the only time you'll be tempted to contact him anyway. You could even pretend that he's in the block box begging for you back. Even if he's not, it will make you feel mentally better if you've been callously discarded. You don't owe him anything. Toxic men thrive on attention, positive or negative

Realize he is a self serving jerk and you can get someone who treats you with empathy and respect at all times

You have to really really want it. You have to want yourself to be happy more than you want to repeat a toxic yet oh so familiar cycle. Do you? Be honest. I've been on that merry go round. I enjoyed the on again off again drama. But that was a long long time ago and I'm much much happier now. In fact, I wasn't happy at all then. Make a choice for yourself and allow the past to be the past. It'll be okay. It'll be more than okay.

I try to make decitions when I feel neutral about the issue. I blocked a few people in my life recently, and it was hard but it's easier everyday, especially if I keep leveling up.

Keep busy, especially around the time you ovulate. Plan a day trip with friends or host dinner. Visit family. Go volunteer. Work overtime if that’s an option for you. Just hang around other people so you don’t feel the need to fall back on your ex.

Also know that whenever you spend time with your ex, you are preventing yourself from building relationships with people who you truly value or can potentially value. How are you suppose to find and build a new relationship when you’re putting all your energy in a failed relationship? Appreciate the time you had with this person but realize you aren’t getting what you need from him anymore. I really like the song thank u, next, captures this sentiment perfectly.

Listen to the podcasts, especially the one on narcissism. You might find he ticks off some traits that you never saw before.

Straight up I don’t block them (I know that’s anti-FDS). I just take great pleasure in getting their messages (which they have no way of knowing I’ve received) and never, ever responding. It makes me feel powerful to be able to resist responding and know they’re still thinking of me.

I know it’s not for everyone but that works for me.

Friends for 4 years* I can't add up hah

Hey theoykuc thanks so much for the reply. Yeah definitely I agree the last thing I want is to become involved with anyone. Ah well we weren't together the whole 10 years.. together for 3, friends for 5, together again for 3. I know that was a big mistake to get back with him! 1.5 years still can have a massive impact its a long time still! Thanks for the advice I would like to start being creative again :)

Delete his number and give it to a friend to hold (written on paper) for a year.