Help fellow brown women?

I'm desi but live in Canada. In general everyone I've met who got a decent desi boyfriend was either set up with someone by their parents or their parents' friends or met them on a dating app but specifically filtered for desis (and obviously only swiped on ones with decent job prospects). In most cases they were long distance (still within the same province) though until they got married. They didn't wait that long to get married (definitely never more than 1-2 years). It's easier for women who study super brown fields (e.g. medicine) since you can meet them naturally irl there.

In fairness, though, I ended up only ever dating white guys since most desi guys I met just never seemed that interested in me.

I’m not Indian, but I live in a Canadian city with a predominantly brown population, and I know many Indian women who have large networks of friends and families. Try leveling up your friendships and see if they have available HVM in their circles they can vet for and set you up with. You can ask HV family members if they know anyone through work or social hobbies too.

Getting arranged by your parents is not bad if they understand and support you well.

Meeting through friends MIGHT work, if you are careful while vetting.

Personally, I don't really know too well either. As an atheist who wishes to be child free, my experiences are mostly negative as Indian men, very commonly, look for someone who is religious atleast to a certain extent and want kids.

But I wish you all the best :)

Yes, I live here, in a major city and I also WFH. My mum is very smart so there is 0 pressure on me to marry. I am somewhat active on OkC but I'm not expecting anything good to come of it. 99% of men are no good. I've kind of stopped focusing on men/dating since 2020. My plan to meet a partner is to just do what I love: travel abroad and partake in activities I enjoy. Surely you'll find someone with similar interests. It's also easier to establish chemistry in in-person meetings. OLD is frankly a waste of time. If you do stick to OLD, keep texts to a minimum, get on the phone with a dude ASAP, meet IRL once you've established he's not dangerous. Repeat after me: no long texts. Texting is NOT for getting to know anyone but to plan meet-ups/dates/etc.

Not Indian but South Asian and I personally think the arranged route is great if you're on par with your parents. I'm pretty close with mine and they know exactly what I'm looking for in a guy. The guys I meet at social events are already heavily vetted by multiple trustworthy relatives, since they've been in our general social circle for years. If you have a good social network, always best to utilise it. I'm an introvert, I hate online dating and I don't really work in very male-dominated fields so my chances of finding someone by myself are extremely slim. Best of luck.

What part of India are you in?

What types of men do you deem HV?

Of course here's the usual: stay away from anything that moves in the North or North Western states based on your inexperience. These men are usually too complicated from a femicide type situation.

I would always prefer men from south especially Tamil men even though I am not distantly from the same background. India survived it's invaders due to people who preserved their culture. Coming from a similar background (brahmin), I could easily chose the right from the bad ones.

Also, do not even think of dating men whose family has a configuration like this: No women born in two/three generations, when conceived naturally. There's a curse on such people for real.

Good news is that men are in excess here. Also, they don't mind marrying women who are not as educated as they are or even as educated as they are. Prefer not to mingle with people who are not as educated but earn somehow too much than you.

What worked for me: I heavily interacted with the women folk in the family and they are absolutely a league of great women. Touch wood.