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I'm not really sure what to make of this guy. I met him in person 5 years ago. He made this huge scene talking to me at a party and then never followed through. Years later adds me on social media, and me being kind of salty I was really standoffish. He starts chasing me hard, telling me how much he wants to meet me, telling me he missed out on the girl of his dreams, saying he wants to marry me one day, Sending me flowers to wear me down and it worked I started liking him. At first he kept asking me to come visit him but I refused because he already blew me off a couple times so then he agreed to come. For 6 months, He kept promising to come fly to me but never did and when I'd ask for a specific date he would pull away and leave me on read for days. Then finally when I'm
About to block and delete him and fed up, he makes solid plans to come. He's coming in two weeks, bought his tickets and everything except all of a sudden he's acting sooooo distant and short with me over text.
Shouldn't he be excited? He's not flat out ignoring me but he would be sooooooo flowery in the way he talked to me and check in consistently and now he's completely stopped and takes days to respond.
What should I do? At this point I don't even want him to come because he is pulling away so obviously, but he bought his tickets and booked his hotel. I made it clear day1 that I'm not sleeping with him unless I have an engagement ring on my hand so it's not that. I don't understand this guy I ignore him he chases me, I start to like him he does this crap.
Your first sentence already contains everything you need to know. He confuses you. Stop trying to figure out what his deal is. He isn't consistent so in the bin he goes.
Remember when you were about to block & delete? Go back and do that. Then consider a social media/dopamine detox for a month
How do you know for sure he got his ticket and hotel? Did he send you receipts? Also, all that stuff you said in the beginning is clearly love bombing. Sending flowers, you're the girl of his dreams? Wants to marry you? Hhhmm K. He has love bombed you and you fell for it. When him trying to get you to spend your money, energy and time to fly to HIM failed, he said he'll come to you but then hemmed and hawed for weeks, until supposedly he got his ticket. Which I doubt. I really think he isn't going to show. And if he does, he will make you pay for it. He will resent having to come, and will be pissy with you and will probably expect you to pay for dates while he's there since he paid for the airfare and hotel. He's displaying classic Narcissist qualities.
Yeah, he should be excited, but he's not.
That's all you need to know.
Block his ass. It's not your fault he bought tickets.
I have a feeling if you don't block and delete, he will pull a fast one on you and not show up. Travel insurance is a thing. Blocking and deleting was justified as soon as he left you on read for days at a time. Do yourself a favor and block and delete now. Do NOT feel bad, he is likely not coming anyways. And he has two weeks to put two and two together.
BDSM
Block & Delete Shitty Men
> What should I do? Get a RL scrotation and invest proportionally in those who invest in you. Trust me - I'm like you, in that my problem with men is usually that they come on strong and pull away and I'm left confused and reeling. Nothing fixed that as much as a scrotation. You're a woman, so maintaining a scrotation really does wonders for any latent and deeply irrational scarcity mindset
Block and delete him.
Sounds like he only wants you when he can't have you. Time to block.
He never bought tickets. You can cancel any airline or hotel ticket within 24 hours with no penalty. He sounds like a player. Don't take it personally. He was love bombing you (marry you? After blowing you off?) And then wanted you to fly to him like pussy delivery service. Block and delete. Who cares if he shows up in person? Men love long distance because it keeps you in a heightened state of emotion longing for him, or excitement and fun when he's there. It's not like a real relationship where you go to the store and buy floss and toilet cleaner, or you see him scratching his balls on the sofa every day.
He's not going to transform into a great guy because you let him come see you. I would even say it would be dangerous to go see him- I got sexually assaulted by one of these guys who ghosts for periods of time, and when he came back he invited me over. I got assaulted. Block and delete, find a nice local man.
Creepy for him to fly to a woman he hardly knows
It sounds like you might be the sidechick and he's occupied with someone else. From what you wrote, I feel like he's lying about having booked his tickets and hotel.
Drop him like a bag of rocks.
You have no proof he bought tickets. You have no proof of anything.
This sounds harsh, but you're the sideshow. You're not the reason he claims he's going to visit. Do you want to continue being the pitiful sideshow?
If you feel bad about blocking and deleting without warning, you can send him one short text saying you changed your mind about seeing him. Don't provide an explanation, because he doesn't deserve one. Then, block and delete immediately before he responds. Wash your hands of him and move on.
Who cares if he bought tickets and booked a hotel? Not your problem! The moment a man confuses you is the moment you needs to excise him from her life. He probably won't even show, and lied about his plans. If he was still interested, he would not be acting like this. Block the flake and prioritize your dignity.
This guy sounds like a total pain.
Push and pull technique to hook you emotionally 🤡
Even if he ends up being with you, can you imagine having to put up with that hot and cold behaviour? You will never feel secure. At best, it's a frustrating character trait and that's reason enough to never meet him. At worst, it's an old PUA tactic to 'keep you on your toes'. You shouldn't be confused. You should feel insulted. The fact that he booked the tickets and hotel room is not for you to take into consideration. Chances are that if he is really that nonchalant then that money that he spent isn't that much for him anyway, or he may have some backups in case you don't turn up.