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I've constantly seen cases of men that are obsessed with women that they mistreated who subsequently dumped them or how men fixate on some girl from high school that rejected them that they still hold onto and are bitter about..........20 years on. There are also men who will date a woman, ghost her, date a new woman and yet, they'll try to get in touch with the woman he ghosted to make her a side chick.
All the stories I've read about men who act in any of these ways have led me to the conclusion that a lot of men only want what they lost or never had. Now, I'm not saying that these men want these women in a healthy way (i.e. they want to treat them right, provide for them, cherish them, etc) but that they remain fixated on women that rejected them, dumped them or never looked their way...........while dating or even being married to other women!
My question is, why do they do this? It's a very very strange and irrational trait that a lot of them have. I'd really like to get everyone's view point on this.
I’ve seen stories where men admitted they enjoy bullying the gf they are with but deep down they fear the gf leaving for good. Love means positivity at its purest, and is free from control. Love is liberating and if you don’t feel free and positive with a person then it’s time to go. There is no such thing as struggle love, toxic love, tainted love etc.
If a man cared then respect is the most dominant behaviour he displays. Everything he does or say comes from a place of respect.
I also dealt with a person who acts cold because he wants something else but when I want to leave and never speak to him again he wants to act pitiful.
Many, many men are addicts (to various normalized stuff in society, such as porn, gaming, food, drinking) who also refuse to go to therapy, and who also deeply love pain and chaos, and most of all, the perceived approval of other men.
That’s the basic toxic stew recipe for them being like this. Living in the past, limerence for a woman they never really knew, fumbling a good woman who is right in front of them, settling for the first woman they see when they are finally ready to marry, delusionally thinking they don’t need to change their behaviors... blah blah vom.
Girl, such timing. My ex from a few years back just sent me a text saying his life is empty without me.
In regards of the women who reject them & they still pine over her no matter how much time has passed, it's simply their ego. They fantasize her coming back so they can get revenge. That's why you don't give second chances after rejecting a male. Don't even give a chance to the one chasing you for months or years. The resentment is already there. He'll either dog you out or play along until he knows you're in deep then switch up / reject.
I'm currently experiencing being a LO / "one that never happened" to a male acquaintance I cut off years ago. This man is in a whole new relationship yet still keeping up and watching me. Not only do I feel sympathy for his current girlfriend but I could easily be in a similar position if I were to start seeing someone new. It's disturbing and horrifying.
I think it's about power.
Men falsely believe in the myth of female privilege and think that women need to be forever punished for having the one thing they desire the most (🐱). One way this manifests is the so called pining for prior women as well as brand new women who enters their lives in some way shape or form. If he's single and manages to get an old ex back, this gives him a major ego boost and grants him the opportunity to "getting his lick back" by dumping her right back, assuming she was the one who walked away first. If he's taken and gets with the new woman, he gets the ego boost of hurting both his current partner, as well as the affair partner, via triangulation.
These men don't really want either of these two types of women. A man who truly wants you would never put himself in any position to lose you in the first place. It is extremely rare for a man who is so self aware and HVM for him to realize he's made a mistake, regarding old flames, and to try to fix it as best he can. But otherwise, men only want the ego boosts and that's it. These women are never what they want, it's the feelings they are after.
Had one clown I just went on a few dates in which he triangulated and SAed me on the dance floor by grinding on Mr with his hardon, that was the last date needless to say. He spotted me at a convenience store a whole year later. He looked at me with shock and awe and I didn't stare back lmao. Then he ran into the store and hid in one of the aisles cause I had to run in to go to the bathroom. These buffoons know exactly what they did to us.