Has anyone ever had a family member cut off contact/ghost everyone for no reason?

I know!!! Wtf

And no it's not like her at all, in fact my mom had even messaged her "til the day I die, I won't believe that you are the one who wrote that message"

Something is definitely going on. Try texting her from another number.

That’s what I’m wondering. maybe it’s because I watch a lot of true crime, but if the first text you get from a family member after they haven’t contacted you in a long time is one telling you they’re cutting you out if your life/moving away/need time alone/etc, there is definitely something fishy going on.

Is it possible where you live to send police over for a wellness check?

Yeah but also no. If she is being abused/controlled, a police check could make things worse.

I might sound crazy, but it's to make sure she is actually still alive.

A woman who was treated like a princess by her mother, who would tell her "I miss you" "I love you", suddenly responding with "You're abusive and I no longer want to be in contact with you" sounds like what a murderer would text the family so the family doesn't try to figure out what is wrong.

If it is a domestic abuse situation the sister can possibly use this as an opportunity to escape.

If the sister perceives that she grew up in an abusive household, but OP doesnt see it that way, then I dont agree that her alleged suffering is necessarily valid. I think a mental health problem or personality disorder problem is more likely.

And those two possibilties are two more good reasons why I think you, OP, should persue this and try to check up on your sister or get someone else (the police) to. Maybe rope your mom in; confess that you snooped through her phone (Im sure she'll forgive you) or ask questions until she spills the beans. The two of you together can make more progress with finding her.

I agree that the defintion of abuse is not easily open to interpretation, but the definition of a "happy/loving family" most certainly is. You know, those families where all seems fine and normal but people in it feel terribly unloved and neglected. And that's also a frequent reason for mental health problems or personality disorders - they mostly come down to both genes and development, but rarely it's genes only. Anyway, I agree her behavior is odd and they should check in with her. Besides the boyfriend, there are many cults or cultish self help communities who could have suggested her to take this route. Sadly I've read it's not that uncommon. It's another possibility to consider.

💯 @Queen - “we have always been a tight knit and loving family. No one has ever been emotionally abusive or toxic to anyone” does not match with “My sister and I were never really close,” sister never visited home for “more than a couple days at once in the last 8 years,” the mom lying to the younger sister claiming she had spoken to the older sister when she really had not spoken to her at all, such that younger sister felt compelled to surreptitiously look through mom’s phone and screenshot sister’s message that younger sister was not told about… Nah, this family is not the least bit “tight knit” and “loving,” and “we have no issues.”

Come on. Both can be true: Sister’s BF can be shitty AND something could’ve happened between the dad and the sister or the mom and the sister that the 23-year-old younger sister isn’t being told about. This family has secrets and she had to look through her mom’s phone to find out the truth despite the mom’s lies. It’s giving textbook dysfunctional family, where the closeness has been exaggerated because mom can’t handle the truth and dad is hardly mentioned at all here, tbh.

I relate to your point and understand it's significance. Having good relations doesn't mean people are in contact all the time, but saying that it wouldn't matter if all connections with a sibling are broken is mostly a sign that not everything might be ok.

It's just a sign, and one could be wrong about this assumption.

I hope OP's sister is alright.

Exactly. Just to reiterate the point though - no one reading this (as far as we know) knows the author of this post or her family. I'm not here to cast judgement, I was just pointing out that from what OP wrote, it could in fact be either way. IMO, OP is right to be concerned for her sister's safety, and if I were in her shoes I would do what I could to check in on her, (discreetly), but yeah, it definitely looks like it might not be a black & white situation and there * could * be a real reason the sister wanted to disconnect. WE CAN'T POSSIBLE KNOW and neither can OP. OP, if your gut is telling you something might be off, feel free to investigate, but also prepare yourself in case you uncover something you didn't expect to. Not saying you WILL, you might not, no one here can presume to know your family dynamics. Just saying, prepare yourself. .

I’m into true crime myself which is why I was skeptical AF when she went AWOL. Funny that you mention LinkedIn- she does have me blocked (why??? I have no clue but she’s always been like that), even when we were kids and I got my first FB account, she blocked me then too lol, so it wasn’t shocking to see. I checked her page from a fake account and there was activity 2 months ago (she “liked” something, but nothing since). I do have her email (assuming it’s the same one she used two years ago), so I’m thinking to reach out from there.

If you can maybe call the work just to check if she is OK? And also NYC isn’t very far from Toronto. If you can, maybe even make the trip there and just see her in person/see how she looks etc since she might lie on the phone but in person you can check her state (if there are bruises, if she looks like she’s lost weight/haven’t been sleeping, etc).

Funny how you got downvoted when your comment is the most true out of them all lol, thank you.