.png)
Ladies, I need some advice. As the title says, I'll be going on a cruise with multiple friend/acquaintace groups. I go on this cruise every year and it brings me so much joy.
The only problem is that this year, I'm dealing with a NVM scumbag in one of my groups. He tried to pursue me this summer but outed himself as a NVM pretty quickly, and thus I rejected him.
I recently found out he decided to get back at me by spreading rumors about me to mutual friends — claiming we were sexting, in love, and had a whole relationship — and I, the evil villian, broke his beautiful sweet tender heart.
Needless to say, I blocked that f!@#$ when I found out. He has lost all access to me.
Worst of all, one of my girlfriends has now been outed as a pickme, because she took his side and never asked for my side of the story. But that's a different post for another time.
Here's where I need advice. What do I do if he approaches me on the cruise? Mind you, he's BLOCKED. Virtually and in real life. I have zero intention of listening to him, conversing, or even being in his presence. He will not get the satisfaction of reactions, arguments, speeches about how he did me wrong, or ANYTHING from me.
But say he walks up to me, or invites himself to sit down next to me. What would you advise?
And obviously yes I will be watching my drinks like a HAWK GODDESS.
EDIT: This cruise is like a big annual reunion of friends around the world. I do not hang out with these people on a day to day basis. Miss Pickme lives in a different country, and NVM lives a thousand miles away from my city. We've all been acquainted for 6+ years, so all things considered, they're easy to dump after this 🛳
What I do is stare right through the guy as if he's invisible. Continue to say absolutely nothing to him. Give zero acknowledgement to anything he says or does.
I've done this with guys who did less than what this guy did to you.
They tend to get uncomfortable and go away defeated.
You need to figure out who your real friends are, because friends like that can be extremely dangerous. I would be more concerned with SA, and would not drink around either of these people.
If you don't have closer friends to protect you I would consider not going or going with people who share your values. Also- groups that are so easily infiltrated by parasites like that aré likely to continue getting infected and harm you in one way or another.
Ask questions like-
Who brought him into the group? Who agrees with him? Who is he close to? And distance yourself accordingly.
Whichever way you choose to deal with him, keep a close eye on who and how many people end up consoling/supporting him. They are the ones you need to be careful about after dealing with him.
Grey rocking and only answering with a vague "ah ok" to anything he is saying (literally anything), don't invest any emotion or energy, be the 3 Bs : Bland, Boring and Busy.
Edit : totally ignoring him could backfire on you, I don't recommend. Also, him and his pickme may be a symptom of a deeper issue with the group itself, I would also proceed with caution or consider dumping the whole group...
If it’s too late to cancel tickets, just ignore both of them.
There’s a high chance he and the girl won’t talk to you. If they do, just treat them with condescension.
Next year, maybe invite close friends or go alone?
Don’t go. I was in almost this exact situation and the dude made the trip miserable