Getting sucked back into dating desperation, help please?

Sis the "good men" who got married young weren't good. By the time you're 40, they will all be being divorced by their wives, and you'll see quite clearly that all those people got married out of fear. You'll learn that most people dislike their spouses, and most people cheat on them.

You're asking whether you should center men. No, you should not. Center yourself.

Around mid-twenties is when I finally figured out I don't actually want children, when previously I thought I had to have children eventually, opting out never even crossed my mind.

Looking back, I consider it very fortunate I wasn't already on the mommy-track by my mid-twenties, otherwise by now I probably would have some children I never truly wanted, and traumatized them for life by screaming at them that I hate them 😆

Now, I'm not trying to sway you to be childfree - these things can't be forced, you might want children or you might not, that's for you to figure out. I'm only mentioning it because you say you're still figuring yourself out and not sure what you want to do in life.

I don't see the sense in fixating this hard on fertility when you don't even know whether you want children. That's setting yourself up to get tunnel-vision.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being open to the possibility of the right man entering your life, but to place such importance on it that you're stressing over how it needs to happen by a certain timeline - there's danger in this leading to desperation, pushing you to overlook a man's red flags just so you can beat some "deadline". I've seen how badly this turns out for so many women. I hope any woman who reads this manages to avoid that pitfall.

Keep all that in mind, take a breather, and realize some things in life are out of our control. Whether we meet someone who suits us is one of those things. All we can do is do our best with the things that are within our control. The rest will fall into place.

1. Read the handbook.

2. Get off reddit.

   
   

3. Apps are trash, just fill your life with the hobbies and passtimes you like. The best men you’ll meet are the ones who frequent the same places you do and share your hobbies. Introverted or not, there should be group activities or friends to hang out with that can draw you into public to meet men.

4. Good men are harder to find later in life, but they still exist and since most people don’t tend to want to settle down till their late 20’s you’re actually in the sweet spot for the best men who are mature, financially stable, well into their career, and looking to settle down. If you were 35 it’d be a different story.

5. Read “how to win friends and influence people.” It’ll help with social skills.

6. You are not old. You are literally gen z. 25 is very young. Like, yes, you need be serious about dating (you’ve come to the right place!) but you have a good decade before you’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy. You are in NO way too old to date, get married, and have kids in a decent time frame. But you do need to figure out your dating goals are and know exactly what kinda life you want so that way your dating life will reflect your values.

7. I am 24 and definitely have huge baby fever to the point I feel so upset about being childless I cry. It’s not our fault. The hormone surges are crazy and irrational and something we just have to weather because they’re natural. Baby fever is insane lmao. If you’re feeling that deep sense of overwhelming sadness about not having any kids yet just let it out in a cry. It feels good and then you can move on.

8. You can date and find yourself at the same time. Take yourself on dates, try new things alone, and explore your passions. You even have enough time to give yourself a year or so before getting serious about dating if you want to really dive deep into finding yourself.

For your lawn mower issue:

I’d recommend a scythe.

• It will fit in your vehicle

• Repairs are much easier

• Lower maintenance

• Don’t need to prep it or start it up

• Effective

• Can be used effectively even If you’re petite or have small hands

• Easy to store. Takes up less space

• Cheap to replace. Can easily be bought online or delivered

• Doesn’t require gas or a source of electricity

Scythe cutting grass example

https://youtube.com/shorts/G7Di4bx-x6g?si=B1yqiWYG8KlA1e6S

How to deal with smug mechanics/repair men/hardware store employees.

• Play the dumb fox. Don’t seek validation, don’t over explain your situation, don’t try to impress them or correct them on anything. Be very vauge. They enjoy figuring out the problems themselves. Never act competitively either. It triggers them.

• Act fascinated and interested in the stuff they say. Really appeal to their egos and treat them like geniuses. Never say stuff like “I already knew that.”

• Be direct but still allow them to do most of the talking. Appeal to their egos by letting them hear their own voice.

• Praise them after they’re finished

• Act shocked about things they “found” or “discovered.” Even if you already knew about (thing.)

• Speak softly, act like you’re shy/anxious.

• Offer them lemonade/cold drinks.

• If you suspect they’re trying to scam or overcharge you on something say something like “I’ll need to think this over for a while.” They’ll either change their minds for immediate gratification or you can just leave and seek out someone that’s more trustworthy.

Trust me, these men will usually place you at a higher priority if you make them feel smart and masculine whenever they’re around you. Use their egotistical nature to your advantage.

Make them act like show off.

I’ve even received free parts, labor, discounts and higher priority service when I used these methods.

If you ever want to learn how to fix something yourself just go to Youtube or look up online forums. You can create an account on the fourms with an anonymous/male account so the men won’t nitpick your mistakes and will actually give you to the point and relevant advice. Do this every time you need answers to a specific question.

(Learn how to type and word things like a guy too. This helps)

Claim to have a short 10 year old son with small hands and you’re trying to find products to help accommodate that. For chad father and future chad son trad bonding or whatever.

(Or just use chat GBT) I use this a lot whenever I need immediate answers to very specific situations. That way I don’t have to go to a man who may or may not have passive aggressive tendencies.

Best thing is to stay focused on your career - make that a priority and pick out other priorities like family, high value friendships, healthy hobbies, and if you have religious beliefs you follow. Focus on those things cultivate them.

Through high value friendships and or pursuing hobbies especially ones that get you out of the house - you are more likely to attract and meet more people that have similar interests as you. This can make it easier to meet a hvm.

If you're worried about marriage and fertility- stop believing myths. Women in their 30s even in their early 40s still get pregnant and deliver healthy babies. You're fertile until you hit menopause. Don't worry about babies. Instead live a lifestyle that helps keep your mind and body healthy - so that when someone worthy comes along your mind and body will be as healthy as possible- so having a healthy marriage is likelier. Having a healthy, easy pregnancy when your body is in good shape, when you avoid alcohol/drugs, and eat healthy foods.... I'm not dismissing that fertility issues exist but just focus on yourself now and your mental/physical health and your priorities.

I'm 28 and have struggled a lot with these feelings too (dated a scrote from 19-25 who fucked me over, pre-FDS naturally). I froze my eggs, which bought me a lot of peace of mind, but also found that finding a pursuit that really feels meaningful to you (a career, education, volunteering, hobby etc.) usually tempers a lot of these anxieties. They seem unrelated but they both stem from an urge to fill your life with something meaningful.