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Growing up, I always had a small number of extremely close friends at any given point. 1 best friend in school; we'd spend all our time together and always hung out by default. At summer camps, I might have 1-2 friends and do the same thing. In college, it was my roommate(s) or whoever I was dating.
I am capable of being on my own or more independent, but I find myself deeply dissatisfied in general without at least a couple of local friendships with a high level of emotional intimacy.
Is this normal? I feel like it is harder and harder to maintain or find friends like this because my friends get married and have kids or move away.
Completely normal. It is human nature to want to know each other and be known deeply. Connection is a basic need. There are so many studies on how fundamental social connection is to mental well-being.
Strangely, I find that more people want to emotionally connect the older I get. Maybe it is because I was quite emotionally stunted when I was younger that this is all new and fascinating to me now. I don't know if it's something about who I draw to me but I meet so many people starved of emotional connection. I was that way as a result of trauma but even normal people I meet seem to seriously lack these bonds and it doesn't take long before they want to connect with you.
Every guy I've ever spoken to for more than a couple of conversations has also betrayed how starved of this he is but what surprised me was the number or women like this. It maybe the consequence of modern transient communities. I live in such a city.
Edit to add: The problem is everyone is so desperate to connect that I think they overdo it and don't know how to maintain it. I think it's such a shame that friends choose scrotes over you or, if a HVM partner, seem to not value female friendships much, but that's why it's so important to have a range of friends and not over invest yourself. Having this problem with a friend recently and at this stage I'm stuck on 🙄 On a positive note, I bet there are lots of women out there who'd love to connect with you and again it is very normal to make new friends at different stages of life and in new places. Relationships evolve but the need to connect doesn'tgo away.
I've always been the kind of person who would want to have 1-2 close friends over a bunch of friendly acquiantances too. While I do not think there's anything wrong with that, it makes it hurt really badly when a friendship doesn't last. Basically the same thing as a heartbreak because of how emotionally invested I get.