Friends that are girls and paying on dates

When did you find out he had a girl best friend that he lived with? If he said it from the start honestly I would have cut him off there. If he told you later, then I'd worry why he didn't say it from the start...

If he's too poor to pay for more than 3 dates then he can't afford to be dating. If you want a serious relationship with a man then he needs to show his generosity and asking you to go dutch so early is unacceptable. If he really likes you but has little money then he should be thinking of cheap but romantic things to do for you - saving up a little longer to take you out or finding a museum, making something creative for you?

Its an old thread but kicking up to put out there: You can be financially strained and still date IF you care enough to do a little planning or investigating. On food stamps? There is a national program that you can get into any major museum for a mere 3 dollars a head (limit 4 people) A day at the museum is a FABULOUS date, tons to talk about and see. Many local parks and colleges have very low cost services such as planetariums, university lectures, exhibit showings, plays for free or a VERY low cost (2-5 dollars entrance). Read your local rec center magazine, you will find meet up groups for donating time and effort to different causes. For instance: meeting up at the local pottery shop for free - making a bowl to give to empty bowls (a program to feed the poor). You can take very low cost classes because its subsidized by the city: $5 for a cooking class or a historical research class at your local historical society. Protests, nature preserves, small free petting zoos, hobby farms - you can buy a bag of carrots and go down the back way roads feeding horses and goats, you can throw seed to the ducks down at the river while you have a picnic. etc My parents were broke ass immigrants when they first came to the states - they would make dates rummaging and then painting the old used furniture they would find, rehabbing it into beautiful pieces. They would go on nature hikes, find good sticks and then whittle them together into beautiful walking canes. Most cities fund a once a month free day at the local aquarium or art galley - they would go on those days and then go swimming at the beach after. My Dad cared about stimulating my mom's mind and doing novel things with her - she didn't care about the money, she cared about how he tried to impress her and be useful for her - the pay off? A 60 year successful marriage, the money came later after his schooling was complete. If only more men brain stormed more instead of bitched about being a provider, they could have successful relationships like my dad did when he was broke.

What Neorago said added with. " I wore a Chanel bag and I was quite excited about it as it was my first time wearing it in public. After the fact, his friends (male and female) said to him that 1. it's weird that he was paying every time and it's not feminist (lol). His girl friend who he lives with said that I seem stuck up cause of the bag. "

This is a huge red flag. My relationship is not up for side people who know nothing about me. It's your bag you got it however you got it and you should be HAPPY to flaunt it. Another woman dogging another about something that makes them happy such as a bag? No. Just no. Do you identify as 'feminist'? (whatever meaning they use as such) if no then those standards they have towards you does NOT apply to you. You said you expected him to pay. If he was fine with it then he needs to deal with it. Not every date needs to be expensive. As long as it's thoughtful and not something that took 5 secs to think of. Ask yourself this... do you want this 'best friend' inserting herself in your life? That will happen that attitude alone sounds bad enough. Whatever pickme behavior she has she will try to push on you. If you think you can handle it, do you. I would have cut him off from the first moment he ever suggested a walk date and we weren't official. I go on walks all the time alone. Without the added chatter of another person. The rest of the behavior is a red flag to me.

Good luck.

When I was a kid, and somebody asked a guy why he doesn't have a girlfriend, he ususually answered he can't afford one. And was cool about it. Everyone thought that was a reasonable answer. Everyone knew that it does cost money. Times has changed.

1. He lives with a girl - pretty sure they fucked. 2. He’s basically trying to tell you that he doesn’t want to pay all the time and he is intimidated by your Chanel bag. I’ll put a disclaimer here that sometimes extroverts just like to share a lot of information to people around them - they like to discuss it in the open and most topics are not considered taboo. It’s possible he just want to hear from you what your response is and don’t actually mind paying. On the other hand, it’s also possible he is trying to tell you that you shouldn’t make him pay for dates - what is he telling his friends behind closed doors? is it possible that no one is saying anything and he’s just trying to indirectly tell you he doesn’t want to pay? Also, it sounds like he’s triangulating you and the best friend. I think this will just get worse - he has no qualms telling you his best friend doesn’t like you. and given that it’s his best friend, that girl will probably just get more involved in both of your lives eventually. I think you should start to let him go.

This guy isn't worth it.

He has no money, therefore no stability. Don't be Barb the builder, and give him everything only for him to leave you for a younger woman.

He lives with a friend who is a woman. Men fuck whatever woman is convenient.

His friends don't like you.

The fact that he lives with a roomate “girl friend“ is a huge red flag. it sounds like they are in an fwb situations tbh. Cut your losses.

Also, him and his friends seemed to be threatened by a Chanel Bag. Like how pathetic is that. him and his entire friend circle are lv.

The other woman = used to triangulate you. Dump this man now. He either was or is shagging her.

girl, are you going to hide your chanel bag forever just to have these extra large judgmental people maybe like you? i'm sorry i got to that part and was like...no. jealousy is a bummy look. i dated one dude who also started to complain that we went to too many expensive places and that issue got much worse- he wanted to control everything i spent and expected me to live his cheap ass lifestyle.

This post is super old but I would love an update

It's LV that he said he is broke, if you're broke, don't date, lol. And also: it's weird that he first paid and then said he was broke, so he wanted to take you to fancy places the first time to lure you in and now that he's comfortable, the masks slips already 🤡 This is almost an easy one but I will give you my analysis. On issue 1: Did they have sex? I'm 90% sure they did, especially since she's a pickme. On issue 2: Offtopic but which Chanel was it? I'm curious and get excited 🤣🥰 It's btw NOT stuck up to be proud of what you wear and be proud of something you bought and worked for or got from a special person. 1. I'm dying. Okay so his friends are libfems and already judging you whilest they didn't even see you, or did they? And if not why did he felt it was nessecary to say those things? I feel like he's very insecure also. He is a broke boyyyyy and you need to 🎤 BLOOOOCK AND DELEEETE 💫👋

Is the girl a flatmate? Hmm. I'm more concerned that he TOLD you what she and his friends think, and that he told them who was paying.

Surely, if a man was happy to pay for a date he would not bring up who paid to others? He'd just say "I had a lovely date", not discuss who paid, and then tell YOU about it. Sounds like he is trying to make you feel bad for not paying.

I'd suggest dating other men and spending less time and energy on this one. A Scrotation (dating multiple men) is a very useful part of FDS. Check out the podcast on it.

His "friends" probably didn't say anything and those are his internal thoughts.

He probably lives with his girlfriend or strung along hook up buddy, and doesn't want to spend money so his wife/gf doesn't notice on the bank statement. I would politely tell him that you understand his circumstances-that he's too broke to be dating right now. And then block him.

Lmao living with his female best friend - That's either 1) his ex or 2) a girl he has asked out multiple times and got rejected. I went on dates with a guy who was living with his ex-girlfriend, and talked about her like a best friend. Never a good sign, it's highly unlikely a man has a best friend that he does not want to fuck or has fucked at some point.

I know this an old thread but just saying, for anyone who comes across this in future.

JFC this guy you're dating needs a lesson in social etiquette. Maybe he'll get his first lesson when you next him? It's a huge turn off for me when a guy tells me what his friends say\think about me. Did I ask? Lol no cause I don't care. I love that you were excited about your Chanel bag. I'm excited about your chanel bag too, I bet it was so cute!!!! This guy you're dating should have never said anything bad about it, and ESPECIALLY NOT pass on someone else's judgment of your super cute Chanel bag. And one more thing, of course he says his female roommate doesn't like you because he's dumb and so is she if what he said is true.

So he's already living off of one girl, and that's not been enough to resurrect his finances, so then he finds a new woman, one wealthy enough to buy Chanel bags, and he wants to lower her standards and get her to buy him fancy meals. Wow, what a deal! Just go to a Build-A-Bear store and make you one. You don't need to build this man. NEXT. A man is supposed to prove to you that you won't starve under his watch. That he's a leader and will look out for you. Watch the bulls ans stallions in the field. They protect their mares/cows and their offspring. They lead them to water and fresh grass everyday. They sacrifice their own lives to fend off predators and fight other males to prove their worth. If a human male isn't as good of a father and provider as a bovine or equine male is, what on earth do you want with him?