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Hey ladies, I have been supportive and appreciative of my friends and for a while it was going well. It still is on the whole, but one of them has informed me that another friend invited an ex of mine (we only went on like 4 dates ish) to hang out with them on a group. She hasn't told me. Idk if they're hanging out as friends or a couple, but I warned her about him weeks ago. I even said he wouldn't accept me rejecting him and that he is emotionally abusive. When she warned me about a guy, I took her side, yet when I warn her, she goes for it anyway?!
Me and her have mutual friends and I'm thinking my friendship with her might be over. I might have to disinvite her to a group outing because I KNOW this guy would use her to get to me and that he's only around the group to take my friends. He is one of the "Abusive and controlling men" from Lundy Bandcroft's book.
How would you go about this? I want this man gone! What is she playing at?
She is not your real & true friend. Sorry. Chump Lady discusses “Switzerland Friends” such as her, who take the side of abusers. Hugs to you.
If she’s dating/considering dating him and refused to heed your warning, then I guess she’ll find out first hand. If she’s just friends with him, do you really want to be friends with a woman who invited abusive males into the friend group? And if he’s just using her to get at you… both of those things apply, and you need to cut them both off. Your safety and wellbeing come first.
If it is true, I would block and delete both of them.
You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink
Neutral friends are not your friends. Period.