Finally allow myself to be excited

Hey empresses,

can I just say first how much I value this group? It is SO validating to find like minded women to relate to finally in my life.

after a lifetime of abusive relationships my expectations had been worn down to the bone (bar was residing in lower hades). my last birthday was the first I spent with my now fiancé and I had no expectations (I knew he was not a love bomber like my exes and had nothing to “make up to me for” therefore I didn’t expect extravagance for my birthday) can I tell you I was floored by the amount of effort he put in. Shocked. Immobilised. Didn’t know what to say or how I was going to ever “make it up to him” Was my initial subconscious reaction to being treated this way. Because everything I had ever had before this was transactional. I couldn’t rely on people around me to value me and so it was not safe to admit to wanting a fuss about ”just me” because I didn’t deserve it in my mind. I mean I KNEW I did but also knew that the people around me at that time didnt appreciate me enough to deliver ( I have since cut them all off). I’m talking, a beautiful expensive cake, clothes from an (expensive) designer I loved, silk bedclothes, cashmere this and that, a thoughtful card and three huge bunches of roses (for my dressing room, bedroom and sitting room). My birthday this year is in three days and I’m getting taken to one of the most expensive places in my city (he googled “most romantic restaurants in my city”) and I am so so EXCITED! Because I know he won’t let me down. He has proved his devotion again and again in his actions and allowed me to reside in my feminine receiving energy. I can ALLOW feelings of expectation and anticipation to deliciously build knowing they will exceed my hopes. he does this in his effort (both monetary expenditure and thoughtfulness). i never thought this would happen to me but ladies please know that there are men out there that will do this. because as he says “his life is just so much better with me (us women) in it”. And this is just how it is. Women have such profound inherent value that has been denied to us for TOO LONG. have you guys experienced an “ah ha” moment like this? Xoxo