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I've known my friend for 2yrs now. We were only nights out friends originally but it has grown to weekly communication. But I've noticed she can really make me feel small sometimes about who I am, constantly yawns when I'm talking (every conversation!), she also speeds up my voice messages she told me. I probably talk to much I know but I find it rude. She said in the beginning she always had fun on our nights out but now she told me not to drink as much when we do go out and told me about our last night out A YEAR ago that a guy was feeling me up and I didn't even notice?!?! But I do remember I did notice and stopped him that night. I wasn't that bad but she made me out to be and she never conversed on it previously. Not sure if she was gaslighting me. Also noticed she never hypes me up or gives compliments like I do her. She now regularly sends me depressing rants and I feel she's getting a free therapist from me as it's usually about her. But she is a good listener lol! Our children haven't met either as when I try to organise day trips she's busy. We are never asked. Recently after my messages weren't replied to, three days later she totally disregarded my previous messages and tells me she had some good news and I said how happy I was for her. Now she's just left me a voice note telling me of a trip she's going on with her son this weekend (rather than join us to the trip I invited her to) and that she'll come over and stay over at mine the following weekend?? I dont remember organising this!!! I remember we spoke about doing it during the school holidays but not an actual day!! She's not even checked if I'm doing anything!! I don't feel like having her over now in all honesty. She is a good person but I feel she uses me and I'm not sure if it is enough anymore. But she is one of the only friends I have and much in common.
What are your thoughts?
Who needs enemies when you have a “friend” like that? Cut her loose girl. She has no respect for you. You can’t have someone like that in your life
I can't help but notice OP that you listed a load of negatives about this friend but no real positives. You should ask yourself "What am I getting out of this friendship?" and "If I met this person today, would I become friends with them?".
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I had this friend I'd known since I was 14. For about 10-15 years, the friendship was great. Then, all of a sudden, it was like someone flipped a switch and nothing I did was good enough for her. She would put me down constantly. She constantly flaked on me. She treated me like a burden. To this day I have no idea why her attitude towards me changed. I put up with the mistreatment for years because I thought it was just a phase. One day, this "friend" let me down in a big way and it forced me to look inward and ask myself, "Why am I friends with this person?". For the life of me, I couldn't think of a single reason. Once I realised that, I knew i had to end the friendship. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do because ending a childhood friendship is hard, even when you know it's the right thing to do. I don't regret it for one second though. My mental health and peace of mind have improved considerably since ending that "friendship". I didn't realise how much her constant negative comments and manipulations dragged me down and stressed me out until I was free of her. Honestly it was like a load had been lifted.
I had to cut a woman like this off from my life. Unfortunately she was my cousin, so it took me years to work out why I felt so drained after every interacation with her, and what to do about it.
These people leech energy from you - cut her loose sis, before she steals any more energy or self-worth from you.
Thank you everyone. I’ve dodged her coming over now and going to do the fade out strategy