FDS kinda sorta tells me that Dating is pointless: happier alone?

Sorry if this comes across as unpleasant to read. (I did warn you,) now onto my main topic. So I've been reading through everything pretty much here, and on other sites for and by women (such as Ovarit and ...this takes some courage to admit but awhile ago I used to sometimes look through a celeb gossip site which is mostly (actually only?? at this point) used by young women... it is a bit problematic but what I liked about that site was you see a wide variety of opinions. And one post there actually opened my eyes about transgender being actual human body mutilation... Because that site is less moderated than like Twitter so people can more easily speak their mind. As there's not so much policing there. The site I'm talking about is lolcow farms... Not to be confused with kiwi farms. It's a different website. A lot more women friendly... however still quite toxic in some ways... Though I haven't checked lolcow farms in about a year now. So this past year I've mostly been following (reading) posts on here and Ovarit.

My point being... The general message I get from everything overall is just:

Don't date (men). It's not worth it. Seems to be too much of an energy drain and you get little to nothing in return. Men often take advantage of you and there's not much you can do to avoid that except just avoiding men altogether. (Because LVM parade as HVM and it's very difficult to tell the difference between a psychopathic LVM pretending to be a normal human being and an actual normal human male.)

Dating women seems to be a lot better. For most people who do that. And I wouldn't mind but...... considering the extremely homophobic environment where I live, it's not even safe for me to do that.... And I really don't know if any women would be interested in dating me. So that feels a lot more awkward and I wouldn't know how to deal with all the hate I would receive from family and neighbors and people like those. (You would think that I live in a progressive country, but somehow my nearest environment is extremely conservative and I don't see that changing any time soon. Because I currently have no way of changing where I live and I don't even know if there even is any safe space to live. Or if safe spaces are just a lie people post about online.)

So asking other women out or even trying to meet other LB women doesn't seem like an option for me. (Also I wouldn't want to drag them into the drama and mess that is my family.... I don't know.... in that sense, I feel a lot more protective of women than I do of guys.... Like I wouldn't mind making a guy go through all this drama just to be with me. But I would feel pretty bad to put a woman through this.). Like it's not just about my own safety (I'm actually not that worried about this, because I know I can protect myself), but.... I'm more worried that my crazy family would actually hurt my partner's feelings and inflict emotional and psychological abuse on them. And nobody needs that.

So.... if I date, the only option available for me at this time I think... is dating men. But. Then I read the advice other women give and I just..... I don't want to deal with all of this nonsense men bring into romantic relationships. I don't want to give so much of my time and energy only to receive hate from the guys I might date. Because that is what I'm seeing everywhere: offline too. Women who date (or are in relationships with) men are getting badly treated by those men they date. Women either get ignored by their boyfriend or pressured into doing things they don't like doing. And women who are married or in a relationship or have kids ....these women look lonely and upset all the time.

Some background about me: I have been abused by my family. I now know what abuse is, (after therapy). I know about the terms used to describe abusive relationships. And I have decided to not put up with that from any romantic partner. Like I couldn't help being born into a crazy family. But why on earth would I tie myself willingly to an insane person?? I'd rather not.

So the chances of finding a normal healthy partner who I would be able to date are..... near zero. So the most sane and rational logical conclusion from all this, seems to be:

Just don't date.

(And then by extension I wouldn't use any strategies because I just wouldn't be taking part in the dating game.) I'd be like a WGTOW but ...unlike MGTOW who are just pretending to "go their own way" while still sticking themselves into women's business, ....I would like actually stay away from men altogether. Which is something I totally don't mind doing. (As I've been doing this pretty consistently for the past year.) But then I would also no longer have any use for continuing reading through dating advice or strategies.... Because I would just choose to not date at all.

Is there something I'm missing? Like an error in logic somewhere? I'm open to feedback if you feel like there's something I misunderstand about FDS or dating in general. I'm just putting this out there. This site, and others (mostly radfem circles, but they make a lot of good points, so...) have put me off the idea of dating in general. It doesn't seem worth it. Just saying... The idea of just living with friends or women roommates and keeping pets and houseplants seems so much more appealing than living with a partner. The idea of having extra time to myself just to unwind without having to coordinate schedules and fill up all my hours with random dates... the idea of just being free is more fun. I don't know. Like where is the joy in dating?

Is there any joy in romance? Valentine's Day is approaching and all people post about is how unhappy relationships and dating has made them.... So I'd rather just opt out.