.png)
Having such clarity on male behavior now for the first time in my life, it almost feels like I have been sleepwalking through life. I have zero patience for men who disrespect me in public. Not that I had patience before, but just having this new found clarity to see all the red flags and manipulative tactics that play out in real time that I never had names for before. Now I pin point them right away, and shut it down immediately. All the games men have been running on women that I (we) have fallen for in the past, I see it clear as day now, and it's making me super irritable when strangers, men try their tactics on me in public.
Not just the clarity from FDS, but all the red flags in the book, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. A stranger male tried to "force team" me the other day. In the past, I knew I felt weird about those types of interaction, but I never had a name for how I was feeling, and never understood why my instincts were going off. But now I know the name for when men try to force or create a false sense of closeness with you, is called Forceteaming. By using the words, We, Us, Our to insinuate there's a bond between you that isn't there. This man tried to force team me the other day, and I caught it right away, where in the past, I might have rationalized that manipulative tactic away.
But a different situation It happened yesterday. One of my jobs is as a Brand Representative for different liquor brands so I have to go to grocery stores to market the product which means engaging customers all day. This invariably puts me on a position that gives creepy men an excuse to approach me that they wouldn't otherwise have.
Yesterday, this very large, tall and heavy, man who seemed a bit mentally slow, approached my table, pretending to care about the alcohol I was sampling. But he immediately goes, "I like your nails! Let me see them!" And immediately goes to grab my left hand to look at my "nails". What he was really looking for was a wedding ring, and was using a fake interest in my nails to see if I had a wedding ring on. Gggrrrr this shit seriously pissed me off and I pulled my hand back and exclaimed,"You don't need to touch me dude." And he goes, "Are you married?" And I said, "My status doesn't matter. What's for sale is the alcohol on the table, not me." And he pulls back and goes, "Sorry ma'am sorry." Then tried to fist bump me and I exclaim again, "Dude! I said you don't need to touch me!" Then he walks off.
Like wtf is wrong with men??! It's like they literally don't give a flying fuck about compatibility. It's all about a caveman mentality of "must get woman because she has a vagina." Compatibility never comes into the equation.
I am grateful that I have this new found clarity and confidence to shut down men immediately in public, but at the same time, I feel like it's a bit of a curse cause now I can't unsee what I see now. I never realized how much I have been under threat by men before. I feel like prey any time I leave home. Precisely because I am literally being preyed upon constantly day in and day out.
I guess ignorance, truly is bliss. I think back over my life at all the extremely dangerous situations I put myself in because of my naivety of the male nature. I honestly can't believe I haven't been raped or murdered at this point because of how naive and trusting I have been. In fact, there were a few times I did escape these fates (being raped and murdered) by what I can only explain is by having guardian angels on the other side helping me.
I have this hyper awareness now, and I fear I'll never be able to trust any man again. But I so trying not lose hope that there IS a HVM out there for me. Sigh.
I feel you. I don't know how they get the audacity to even approach us. Absolute delusion.
The other night I had a guy approach me on a busy street when I was out dancing. He kept talking at me and just went on and on and on, trying to get my attention and was going on about some troubles he was having getting in to a club or something. I stopped listening and thought, why the hell am I letting this guy continue? I loudly said "I'm not here to help you" and walked off in another direction. Seriously, it's like just f*ck off. Who do you think you are to get into another individual's space and get in the way of them going about their life? So arrogant.
The compatibility thing is so true that it hurts. They don't give a fuck, and yet "women bad" 🙄. So bad that there is zero vetting whatsoever on their part. I still struggle to put my foot down with asshole men because I don't want to get killed.
I had a coworker "hit on me" in the most pathetic man-baby way possible. And all I could do was look at him like he's mentally ill, and walk away.
He said "you're a 7, and I'm a 7 because I'm tall and have a job (lmao 🤡) so we would make a good match." I was horrified because he literally said "you should settle for me, but just so you know, I'd also be settling for you."
How romantic 🤡 I flooded my panties 🤡
He is not a 7. Having a job is necessary for survival, when a dude mentions that he works like its a badge of honor, he eliminates himself from my dating options automatically. And being tall doesn't make up for his ugly face and attitude. Also, he sucks on his mask like a toddler sucking on their shirt collar. 🤢 I wish men in my age group were more sweet. I'm tired of the bully-shit. You're not going to bully me into dating you. It dries my pussy up. Oddly enough, since that interaction he has been more sweet towards me. I hope he maybe learned something from that, some introspection, idk, a girl can dream.
Good on you for telling that guy at the grocery store off! Slow men get away with so much predatory behavior in my culture, because people are constantly making excuses for them: oh, he doesn’t know any better. He’s doing his best. He’s harmless.
These men are NOT harmless. A man with the strength of a full-grown man, and the same sexual urges, who doesn’t understand boundaries and appropriate behavior is dangerous. And if he can’t act right, all the more reason for people to tell him when he steps over the line. It’s either that, or lock him away, where he can’t do any damage.
It’s the same deal with autistic men. There’s nothing wrong with being on the spectrum, but when you combine autism with male entitlement, it’s worse than male entitlement on it’s own.
I like the part where you told the man what he may or may not do, like a dumb child!! 😃 More stories like this please!
I was ready to give up on dating because of 2 reasons, Being used and then find out he never cares about me, being love bombed and when it stops and he starts to become an asswipe I'll end up hurt and disrespected. But now I know that men will never settle for love and neither should I.
Like an Echo he needs to give back when I put out there. In a well when you say "Hello" you hear an echo right away hearing a Hello back. That's how a man should act.
I know nothing about relationships but I do know that If disrespect is served it's time to go. Because all they said to you is a lie and the disrespect proves it.