.png)
I'm going to preface this by saying that this post is mainly for the newer ladies in the hopes that it will help them on their journey to deprogram pick me behavior. Fds practicing ladies probably already do and know this.
Got FDS advice from a male cousin this weekend. The topic of relationships came up. I was telling him about how I recently got heartfelt apologies from two scrotes this year for things they did 4-5 years ago. They found me on social media. It's like they suddenly realized I'm an actual flesh and blood human being with feelings. I told my cousin that I didn't respond and blocked and deleted. He said "well duh, why would you ever respond?" He was confused that I was stating the obvious and was even more confused when I explained that this is not obvious to most women because of the way we are socialized.
He told me men know exactly what they are doing and they think a 30 second text apology can fix it. He emphasized that you need to ghost men when their behaviour is outright bad behaviour and don't respond to their apologies because if they truly cared about you, they wouldn't do or say hurtful stuff in the first place or put themselves in a position to lose you. However, if they do something you don't like, for example being late, then communicate your need once with the expectation the behavior will change immediately. If your need is not met walk away. He doesn't care.
I remember in my pick days my cousin used to scold me for responding to and overexplaining myself to men who hurt me. He could not for the life of him understand why I would do this or why I even felt guilt and empathy. Men are doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists etc. Do you really believe they didn't know any better when they hurt you?
My cousin further went on to tell me that I should not have empathy for men in general because they certainly have no empathy for women, especially not when they are hurting and deceiving you. He said women need to stop thinking that men think like them. We project our morality and empathy onto men so much. We cannot even flip the script when they do something bad to us and ask ourselves would I do that to them? Because we can't fathom doing terrible things anyone else on purpose. So we gaslight ourselves into thinking that he didn't really mean it that way or he didn't know any better. 🐂💩. He knew and he meant it. I swear so many women's boyfriends and husbands HATE them.
By the way. It was men who introduced me to fds. My brother and his best friend introduced me when it was still on Reddit. They didn't have any hatefulness or anger towards FDS. They were very nonchalant about it. My brother felt it would help me. This helped open my eyes to see that so many women were going through eerily similar experiences with men.
Ladies feel free to add to this or share any fds advice that you have received from men.
I was even told by a man that all men are trash some just stink worse than the others, some don't always stink but are still trash. And you can figure a man out in 3 days If you don't tell him what you are looking for. Stay quiet and observe, don't tell him you expect him to pay for a date, don't tell him you don't like sex jokes, don't tell him you don't like it when he's late. Because If you don't give him a road map he doesn't have the right glue to make the mask stick.
Doesn't pay for dinner, no table manners, no gentlemen treatment then he failed the requirements to date you.
Telling men what you want from them is like your teacher giving you the SAT test with the answers on it. Don't be dumb and let them reveal themselves.
Grandpa always said “How do you know when a man’s lying? His lips are moving.”
Telling men what you want from them is like your teacher giving you the SAT test with the answers on it. Don't be dumb and let them reveal themselves.
I agree 100% but so many women are brainwashed into thinking the exact opposite, it's insane!
I have zero FDS advice given to me by men. The concept itself of that is totally foreign to me hahah. I'm of Indian descent. So the misogyny is ingrained in both men and women. Only a few women here and there have been kind to me in terms of telling me to think in my best interest. You're a lucky person. So envious of you having such male relatives.