FDS Advice for inexperienced women entering the dating scene?

First of definitely follow the advice FDS gives, it is spot on.

Some personal tips/sign of LVMs and fuckboys:

- They are in abundance on OLD. dating apps genuinely suck but good way to get experience with how LVMs act.

- They will invite you to "casual" dates such as drinks or coffee.

- If you want to avoid a fuckboy just never let them in your house, until you have entered a serious relationship with a guy.

- Watch out for secretiveness, they don't want you NEAR anywhere you live. That is a sign that a woman is temporary to them and just a lay. If he is keen to get to your place while going to his place is out of the question, hes a fuckboy no doubt about it.

- Do NOT put too much trust into what a man says. I made this mistake, I clung onto his words and used it as a reason to decide he was trustworthy. Look at his actions not his words - does he pay for the dates, does he follow through with plans, does he suggest plans, does he text frequently? If he throws compliments your way all the time, that doesn't mean anything if he only texts you every 3 days or bails on plans that he made

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- If a guy is interested in you romantically you WILL know. It might take some time for him to show it but he will reach a point where he cannot hold it in anymore. There's stereotypes that guys are more stoic and withholding of their emotions, so its easy to give uncommitted guys the benefit of the doubt! Don't do it, they will not be all stoic and unavailable if they want a relationship with you.

- However, familiarise yourself with the concept of love bombing and signs of it.

- When it comes to sex, the guys who don't use condoms are massive douchebags, show them the door or refuse intercourse at the very least.

- Avoid a man who talks shit about his ex or says she was abusive. Avoid guys who talk about "crazy" women they've dated. Avoid other sob stories too. It's just not worth it and probably a red flag, as very often a man who is abusive reverses it and acts like the ex was the abusive one.

- If you date, meet in public places.

- If something feels wrong with a guy, it is. If you feel bad because of him its because he's bad.

And remember, good things come to those who wait. It does not sound like you are sensible and won't do this, but don't be hasty with losing virginity or getting into a relationship.

Dating has a couple useful ways that you can learn about yourself, including your love language and attachment styles. For me a guys words is what completely sways me, and my love language fits with Words of Affirmation. This was my biggest weakest and how I made mistakes with LVMs. Developing self awareness is good, dating tells you a lot about yourself. It is good that you don't feel ashamed of being inexperienced at 25, this means you are not in a rush and probably smarter than 18 yo you. As you meet guys ask your friends opinions about him or ask FDS, sometimes we see through rose coloured glasses, so asking a 3rd party really helps with getting an objective opinion of the guy. FDS will be here for you and help you with vetting :)

Congrats! You're not missing much.

- don't do OLD

- don't ask your friends and network for advice or if something sounds normal unless they're FDS

- only do things you want to do

- don't ever try to impress a guy

- pay attention to how you feel around him

I think you are starting from a MUCH better point than I did in the dating world, for sure. My life would have been a lot easier if I hadn't been so young and naive in letting LVM have access to me. I have thought about what to say to my niece when she gets older and possibly starts to date. I think I would really just focus on the big one: "If he wanted to, he would". Don't waste your time psychoanalyzing fishy, disrespectful, or noncommittal behavior. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that. You are young and powerful, just cut them loose as soon as your intuition tells you that he thinks you're not worth the effort. Your mental health will thank you in the long run. Good luck to you in your classes and your childhood dream career!!!

We're in a similar boat.

I, too, have been single all my life. Never had sex, never kissed... And I'm 29!

Like you, I chose to focus on myself and have no regrets.

Some days, I worry about failing to spot LVMs who do a better job at masking their red flags... but so far that hasn't happened yet. They can fake their personality, character, and whatnot, but the one thing they can't fake? Their energy/vibe.

The best thing for us to do, is to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. Our intuition are rarely wrong, almost never. If there's something nagging at the back of your mind, trust it.

I'm rooting for us both :) You'll be okay!

1. It's OK to reveal being inexperienced. But don't reveal the fact you're a virgin. 2. If a man utters a word about how he doesn't like "most women" 🚩 because "they've slept around too much/are wh-res" 🚩🚩🚩 consider him a lost cause and block and delete. Inexperience with dating is an inappropriate thing to compliment, and it's a scrote telling on himself and his inner Madonna/whore complex. 3. Have a few girlfriends you regularly talk to who are generally happy (avoid women with loud pick me behavior). Your girlfriends are your defense network from men taking over your life. Those are the people you should be talking to about your dates. They'll tell you what's weird and what's not. It's better than online advice

My advice is to go on dates just for the practice. You don't need to sleep with the men or even kiss them. Just being treated well and make sure they pick up the bill. Feel free to cut things off as soon as you like with a "I don't think we're a match, but I had a lovely time". The FDS podcast episode on Flirting is also a real game changer when it comes to actually meeting and interacting with men.

I'm in a similar boat too! 24 and never had a serious relationship/slept with a guy. I've gone through periods of talking to guys who were obviously interested but I always ended up getting the ick so I ghosted or rejected them. I feel like part of the reason is that I've been studying for my dream career and the other part is that I'm actually really happy being single. There isn't really much a guy could add to my life because I have a good friend group and a lot of hobbies. Also, most guys are honestly so boring, unattractive, or just don't have a sense of humour. My main tip is probably just trust your intuition! And don't bend to peer pressure. Do what makes you happy and enjoy doing it and I'm sure you'll meet HVMs. Good luck!

I'm a bit late but I'm somewhat younger than you, and I too have never been on a date or done anything intimate with a male interest. When I was alot younger (around 13-15) I used to wish I could kiss hot guys from school and not really having a relationship with them after that, and now I realize that such desires are rooted in the fact that society bases the worth of women upon the number of men she's slept with and the number of men she's kissed/been close to. I'm so happy there are women who have defied all this nonsense society feeds us.

As for knowing how a man is HV or not is actually very easy. I have had the misfortune of interacting with several several men and each time I felt even a slight inkling that a man was weird, strange, aggressive, he turned out to be a ZVM or LVM douchebag who wasn't worth any of my attention. All you need to do is trust your intuition and no matter how well the mask has been put on, it will fall off.

Not sure whether you can access this or not, but: a detailed guide from the old reddit

Queens, protect your private part and your body. It’s a treasure and a secret garden. Only give the key to the person who is truly worth it ♥️

I'm in the same boat, only I'm 33 years old.