“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”

― Hafiz of Shiraz

"Past actions are a better indicator than verbal affirmations."

"when someone is trying to manipulate you, take away the only thing that gives them any power: your attention."

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Is it any wonder that abusive men are

reluctant to change? The benefits of abuse are a major social secret, rarely mentioned anywhere. Why? They don’t want anyone to notice how well this system is working for them (and usually don’t even want to admit it to themselves). If we caught on, we would stop feeling sorry for them and instead start holding them accountable

for their actions. As long as we see abusers as victims, or as out-of-control monsters, they will continue getting away with ruining lives. If we want abusers to change, we will have to require them to give up the luxury of exploitation.

Lundy Bancroft

Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.

Margaret Atwood

“If he wanted to, he would.”

“Don’t complain, don’t explain.”

“No.”

“Anger is our friend. Not a nice friend. Not a gentle friend. But a very, very loyal friend. It will always tell us when we have been betrayed. It will always tell us when we have betrayed ourselves. It will always tell us when it is time to act in our own best interest.” - Julia Cameron