Experiences with triggering his mate guarding instinct

I am less touchy-feely in public, but my boyfriend tends to always hold my hand or keep his hand on the small of my back when we go out. Partly he loves to stay close to me, but I believe it also serves his purpose of making it clear to other men that I am his and we are together.

I might be in the minority, but I dislike mate-guarding behaviors when displayed in front of others. These behaviors give me the ick.

The only instances of mate-guarding I have experienced have been with LVM. One in particular was so clingy he would put his arm around my waist on every social occasion at all times. It was disgusting. Even today, nearly 20 years later, the memory makes my skin crawl.

An HVM will recognize that at any given point in time (and particularly on social occasions), his HV partner may be sought after by other men, and he will accept it without being overly dramatic/insecure/demonstrative. Of course, if necessary, an HVM will protect his partner from harm caused by other men. An LVM will not do these things, but we are not in the business of dating/marrying LVM.

I think the best mate guarding tactic is for a man to keep a woman satisfied within the relationship when others are not around. If he takes care of her financially, emotionally, and otherwise, and she is attracted to him, she would not want to be poached at all. A woman who is happy in her relationship is not poachable.

I've read somewhere there's positive and negative mate guarding.

Examples of positive mate guarding include giving gifts that others see you wear, wanting to be seen with you, taking your time by providing nice dates etc. Negative mate guarding is about limiting your free will and choices - not letting you talk to other men, intimidating or threatening other men.

I personally like it when a man is softly protective of you physically. Sitting or walking on the outside, putting his arm around you, putting himself between you and a situation.

Just generally when another man is involved. I particularly remember one time at a friend's party where an old classmate chatted me up, asking me what brought me here (I had been living in another city for many years after highschool before coming back to my hometown) and my bf almost immediately blurted out: "we're together". Lol.

A lot of the comments below talk about mate-guarding behaviours. More important are the matr-guarding instincts, which don't necessarily involve the sterotypical "arm around waist" or physical displays of affection. A good example would be the guy lifting his game, impressing you and treating you well (which he should be doing anyway, but triggering the instinct by surrounding yourself with potential mates sure helps trigger it).

It's like this. A lot of women (pickmes) think that by avoiding other men, you are demonstrating how lovely and loyal you are and the man will like you more. Not true! Never avoid other men, but in fact look for opportunities to be around them (safely) and make that man aware that you have options. Of course, we only entertain HIGH VALUE men. Don't waste your time doing this to some dusty ass scrote.

Best places to do this...the gym, sports with a high percentage of males, martial arts, and hardware stores. Bring the man along. Let him see you talking to other men. Ask a male sales assistant for help, talk to the waiter about the soup of the day (you have questions!).

It all helps. Trust me!

If the guy gets annoyed or tells you to change your behaviour...then you have a Badly built Jonah Hill Bear on your hands. His reaction should be to SPOIL YOU and be trying to impress you, not grope you publicly or try and stop you talking to guys.

THISSS