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# ignoring a person's boundaries constantly after they've let them be known
# unable to take no for an answer constantly forces in various ways, even by manipulative lying
# questioning thoughts to make a person feel unworthy
# making a person's feelings seem unimportant, why do you want to dress up to go out
# continually pretending to not understand what is said
# constantly interrupting, talking down to and refusing to listen to a person's thoughts, opinions and feelings, making a person feel invalidated, worthless, unheard
# changing the subject constantly when a person trys to resolve a problem
# won't apologize and make amends when they've upset another person or have basic please thank you manners
# blaming a person for something that's out of their hands
# deciding things for another person that they should decide themselves, like telling a woman you will have kids if I say so
# being constantly sarcastic so you don't know where you stand or what they mean exactly, saying one thing one minute then different the next, running hot n cold, lying, stonewalling, then telling saying you're being too sensitive or says you're confrontational when you question their disrespect or abuse towards you or gaslits your intuition telling you they were joking
# trying to isolate a person from friends and family
# keeping score of what the other person did or said or bought
# bringing up issues weeks months and years too late and then repeatedly bringing the same issues up to create drama instead of communicating early and resolving the issue and moving on
# telling a person they are too sensitive when they bring a genuine problem to attention to resolve
# manipulating a person by lying, telling a person you want a relationship, marriage, kids and if not we can adopt, want to grow old together, then changing to I don't see a future together but giving zero explanation as they see you as inferior and unworthy to them
# questioning memory of events and denying something was said or done and saying it's in your head, you're paranoid or imagining events when you know exactly what happened and how they made you feel
# making a person feel guilty if another doesn't do what they want
# intimidating a person
# constant moodiness to make another feel as if they're walking on eggshells
How many of these do you experience?
Can you add to the list?
I've experienced all of these. And one thing that came to mind is that I also experienced almost all of these during couples counseling, and our male counselor didn't pick up on them one bit. Which just goes to show couples counseling with an abuser (any kind of abuser- substance, physical, emotional, financial) is pointless. The abuser needs to get their own help before there is anything that can be worked on together. Otherwise, we're just making concessions on things we shouldn't have to- like being treated with basic dignity.
One other example can be negging. A lot of them are easily seen, but some are more hidden but are still "compliments" meant to make you feel bad about yourself. Another one can be calling you names (especially b*tch) in order to be "funny" and "sarcastic", but it is just him being cruel. Giving you the silent treatment is one too. This one is worse when he does something wrong, and you call out on his behavior and he just...ignores you to make you think that YOU were in the wrong.
My mom is emotionally abuse tho, so she checks allot of the points in this post. I can not do anything about it then get mad every time she ignores my boundaries and cursing at me etc.
Oop it’s my mom.