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When I first discovered FDS on Reddit, some of the posts were a bit, I’m not sure what word to use, maybe edgier, maybe even a little eviler, than more recent ones tended to be. An example is probably the best way to illustrate what I’m talking about.
u/AverageToHot (a mod) had a wonderful post “How to Never EVER Pay on a Date,” but that wasn’t really what it was about. It included this wonderful material: “If I want to experience fine dining…I date older men (30+) because they can afford it. I can pretty much get free meals every day if I wanted to and if I schedule correctly.” The rest of the post explains in a lot of detail how to go about doing that.
The post was later taken down (I liked it so much that I’d kept a copy). There was no explanation. My guess, though, is that it was too exploitative of men (poor babies!) for Reddit.
Posts like that were the ones I enjoyed the most about FDS. There’s something wonderfully refreshing about being encouraged to be as blatantly exploitative of men as they are of us!
Now that we’re free of Reddit, will posts like that one be welcome again?
Please absolutely! Heck the entirety of TRP is how to best scam women out of their labour and body, and look at how mainstream it is with none of the same backlash that FDS has managed to accrue for itself. I'm so sick of playing it tame. I don't know why dark triad women could never take off the same way. But I'm SO ready for it to become the thing. When and if it does. Playing on the defensive is still in a way being on the losing side. Do I have to have a mobile app to send personal messages? I'm on the website and the message button doesn't seem to be quite working.
This is definitely happening on the podcast. They're so hilarious, always make me laugh.
I want more harsh strategy. Some women I think weren’t here for OG, hard hitters. It’s not LV to have fun, have a scrotation, and to be treated like queens.
I see nothing wrong with women using mens generosity to your advantage. If a guy is asking you out, of course he should pay. If he is your boyfriend, of course he should be buying you nice gifts.
And there is nothing wrong with subtly hinting at your boyfriend that you want to be wined and dined or be gifted something specific. I did it all the time with my ex's and I had one ex in particular who was very generous and bought me lots of nice gifts that I still use to this day (jewelry, electronics, clothes).
Another benefit is that even if he ends up being a scrote, you still can say you got something out of the relationship after you dump him.
FDS is supposed to be for maximum female benefit so why not try to get as much out of dating as you possibly can? I always advocate for women to be more selfish in dating and in life in general. Men's attraction to women should be exploited!
I recall another FDS classic post entitled "There is nothing wrong with using a man as a cash cow" . That was such a good one!! I wish I had saved it outside of Reddit!!
Reminds me a bit of Dark Triad Women. It was really hard to get in IIRC, I don't know if it still exists or if was active but the idea of DTW was along these lines. Women who are not averse to using men for their own gains rather than trying to find a mutual match. I was genuinely interested but I think I'm too much of a sap to use people even if they are garbage, I don't have it in me so I decided not to bother.
But I definitely thought about it.
I would also be interested in a copy of that post, I wonder if there's a way to do it without it being public
I don't know whether they are welcome or not but I consider a free meal, no matter how fine, very small recompense for compromising your standards by dating an older person you aren't hot for or even a young handsome man who bored you.
To me, such posts are tedious. We pretty much all agree there is nothing wrong with permitting the person who asks you out for a meal to pay for it. If you want to be wined and dined and gifted, that's your standard. But the inference of your post is that you have to compromise other standards to achieve that one and if that is the case, you are actually lowering your own value by keeping low company.
Are you talking about focussing on maximum financial benefit or flat out financial exploitation ... are you saying you want to be a Sugar Baby? That's a role that has been singularly unsatisfying for most women who embrace it for any length of time. In my interpretation it isn't consistent with FDS.
I'll gladly trade a melty grill cheese on brioche bread in my own company on my own dime for a seven course tasting menu at Per Se, the Fat Duck or any other Michelin rated restaurant with some boorish, greasy-fingered man.
I'm not saying I was always above doing this. When I was very much younger and my only entree to elite experiences was (mostly older) men, I did indeed lower my standards for acceptable companions and yes, I savored those meals.
But I couldn't really kid myself that I was having fun and always drank more than I meant to.
It really does get tired and I think most older women would tell you the same.
Granted, if you have stomach enough to turn weaponizing female beauty and charm into a long term lifestyle -- I mean, really see it through so you are getting stock shares, property in your name, etc. -- maybe you look at it differently. Men do tend to die first, especially if they are older.
But I don't personally have the stomach for such long-delayed gratification -- I'd much rather turn that same effort toward earning my own coin.
PS: I take exception to calling such posts "edgy". When it comes right down to it, trading female charm for male resources is tradfem .
I hope so. It may take a while, though. I know i’m still in reddit survival mode, and avoiding saying things about predatory trans “women” or about how nice it would be if misogynists would die, even though I don’t need to watch my step anymore. It’s a reflex, like jumping every time someone slams a door, until you realize you’re safe now.
Yes please 😆 These types of posts made the sub very fun, it have a feeling of being "naughty" too because we're never allowed to be as strategic as men. It wasn't just about vetting but also about having fun and learning to ask/go for what you want in a relationship.
I see some toxic comments here. These comments say things like “giving them what they deserve” “we should be exploiting them” “yay free food”. That’s low value. Those kinds of comments are what was compounding FDS’s bad rep. This is a dating strategy for high value women who like men and want to date men. At FDS, yes, we teach others how to spot the low value men, but we don’t stoop to their level… If you don’t like men, this isn’t the place for you.
I think that even though FDS is off Reddit, we still need to be careful not to stress out the people running this forum and the podcast. Trolls can still snap screenshots and post them without context. And since you can't make burner accounts on this forum, there isn't much you can do if trolls start targetting you.
I think men paying for dates is an excellent indicator to weed out insolvent ones or the ones trying to get free sex as well as serial daters. Unfortunately that’s how men work and how you can tell how serious he is about dating you.
As far as using men I have no interest in in the first place to get freebies, no thanks. I don’t need them. I can get my own stuff, I’m an independent woman and have no time to waste on these. i think monetising our company actually doesn’t reflect well on women as a whole.
I remember that post! It was actually how I found FDS in the first place. Personally never applied it to the tee because having to spend time with older (I'm in my 20s) scrotes ruins my palate for fine dining lol. But found the post to be an interesting read nonetheless.
Definitely wouldn't mind seeing more strategic, "not for the faint of heart", content here.
I miss user averagetohot. I wonder what she's up to. Do you still have a copy of the post? Are you able to post on here or is it against the rules?
I never used men for free lunches until they complained about it so much, I decided it was a great idea. Now I'll give any half decent man a chance at a lunch or dinner date. It also reduces my likelihood to accept coffee and walk dates. I'm hungry!