So a guy who id just been on a few dates with disclosed a lot on the third time I saw him. At the end of the date he sat down next to me put his arm around me and started b*thing about his ex wife accusing her of lying about having cancer and being a sociopath and his financial problems how he's living paycheck to paycheck and might sell his house and how he'd been raped before. He also told me he had ADD and depression and i sat and listened but didn't offer any sympathy. He didnt ask me anything about myself. do you think I was still able to maintain the respect by not doting on him or saying aw poor thing? I didn't straight out say to get a therapist but I did ghost him after that. I actually think that it might trauma bond them to you lol instead of the other way around of bonding you to them especially if you didn't disclose anything personal or trauma about yourself like I didn't. He even disclosed he had an std which idk why a man would say that when we were just on a second date and hadn't discussed s*x yet but I did clap back and mentioned I'm celibate and he said wow that seems like it's hard to do. I'm wondering why he did all that and if he thought I'd still stick around just to listen to more of his poor me sob stories and try and be the magical one to fix all his problems lol or if he was trying to get me to drop my guard and open up to him?
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So inappropriate. Men do this, and then, after you've blocked them, run to preddit to complain about how "I've opened up to a woman and she was cruel to me. I guess women don't actually want us to show our feelings, hurr durr".
What a weird asshole! Btw, I absolutely HATE when men claim they've been raped -especially when no one asked them. I see it as a way to hear our experiences of sexual assault and use it as wank material.
But this guy must truly be stupid - make up ONE trauma, of you wanna play the victim, not ten of them. 🤣
I hope you blocked and deleted the F outta him. He sounds like a top-tier LVM. Red flag galore!
I was just thinking yesterday about how men say they have absolutely no one to talk to about their problems and how society expects them to stifle their feelings. Then I realized they never listen to others. That’s why they don’t talk things out with other men. It would be useless because another man wouldn’t care. Maybe that is why they dump on us and seek out female therapists, too.
When a guy claims to have been raped or physically abused by a woman, chances are it's a lie. Lundy Bancroft touched on this
He was dumping a bunch of “trauma,” that was probably mostly lies, onto you in hopes of creating a bond with you so that you’d give him sex earlier than you usually would. Men do this all the time. They pretend they’re your girlfriend and dump a bunch of BS onto you that’s not true, like his ex probably did have cancer, he cheated on/abandoned her when she got the diagnosis, then he calls her “psycho,” because she wouldn’t take him back after she beat cancer alone. That’s more like it, but his sob story usually gets him laid more quickly, and when it didn’t work on you, he was furious. I had a guy do this on my last date. He opened the date with, ”I never went to college.” Then he told me he just had to refinance his 2 houses, and he followed up with his real name, since he was a convicted Bonanno crime family mafia guy. I’d known him as the VP at the construction company I used to work for. Two years after I left, he asked me out. I looked him up after that “date,” and he’s married with 2 kids, and another girl that I know told me she’d been his mistress and that he has a small dick. Men have a playbook, and they all act the same these days. So good on you for not falling for their tricks. I’m sick to death of their bullshit.
Love it when they expose themselves like this early on. You were right, it was def a trauma bond tactic.
I'm not reading any further than the second sentence. Block him.