Dumped feeling pathetic

Get a dog or cat if you can afford it. Maybe what you are craving is unconditional love and cuddles. Well, cats are pretty conditional lmao (jk). I would remind yourself that the love you had was within you emanating outwards towards him. It was not some third party entity. This helped me because I kept feeling like I would never find love again, but you didn't find love, you simply found somebody to love and that love was inside of you and that love is still inside of you and you can love again. It didn't walk away, he did. This type of thinking also helps break me out of one-sided relationships because I can easily dilute myself into thinking the love I feel is somehow in between us rather than coming from me. It may not be reciprocal. Tough pill to swallow but key to moving on

Treat yourself to something. Anything from an outing somewhere to a thing you've been wanting. Bonus points if it's something you couldn't have with him around.

And look on the bright side: you no longer have to deal with somebody being a jerk to you (for months!)

I understand it can be hard to see it freshly post break-up, but the words "good riddance to bad garbage" is what came to my mind when reading this.

Rejection is God's protection. Whether from something bad, or to open you up to something much better down the road. I also recommend listening to the audiobook "not your mother's rules" and reading the book "all the rules" which helped steel my nerves for dating after severe embarrassing heartbreak

Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? I feel you but keep internalizing that statement. Listen to the books 'he's just not that into you' and 'it's called a breakup because it's broken'

You've already done it so you should understand that you need to stop all contact with this person. Your inflated his ego by telling him you love him. He played the "I will probably regret this" card. Guess what, my ex fid the same. He still left me extremely hurt. Weekly, he would check in with me afterwards to make sure I was still very hurt. It gave him pleasure. He is a sick man. You threw pearls to the pigs. But that's okay now. What's done is done. Cut your losses and start anew. Stop all contact. Block number. He will try and reach out to you. They always do. Not right now, maybe. In 6 months or a year when you would have gotten over the wound he left you with. Don't believe me? You can try and not block him everywhere. You will one day wake up with a "hi" message from him and all the pain will come back. Because that's what they do. They hoover.

Truth is you had a normal anxious reaction to abuse. I dealt w a scrote last summer when I was reading about attachment and I found myself trying to "give space" to his abuse and hoping this would somehow make it less abusive.

This is one of those psychological theories we generalised when only a few people suffer from true life-altering attachment issues (like they panic from a few minutes going between texts, very small triggers that are not actually justifiable). What we have is not attachment issues, it's normal reaction to someone treating us poorly.

Your reaction to the breakup is ok, it's normal, it's what we all do when we tried so hard for some dude. A year later you'll look at his picture and get the ick trust me.

Fleeksie has some good podcasts on breakups and limerence on youtube she helped me a ton you should watch her, she basically went through the same things with a guy despite knowing better, we all fall for garbage sometimes lol and I'm first in line 🤣

There are girls who have the strength to not react, someone on tiktok was saying how he was trying to break up with her and she ignored him and started getting ready to go out, told him it's a good idea and she was planning on breaking up anyway. That activated his anxious attachment and he latched on to her blablabla. But truly do you want that? I don't want someone who clings to me just because of their trauma. I want true mature love and devotion.

Your most serious relationship is the one you have with yourself. This is not a throwaway comment. This is life saving wisdom. Make yourself your rock. Make that money. Love yourself. Challenge yourself. Accept yourself. Support yourself. Encourage yourself. You're all you need.

Ok ok, ugh I’d kick him in the throat for you if I could. Babe I know this sucks, really hard. But as someone who went through something similar about a year ago this time, there is hope on the other side! You’re in the right place to prevent this from ever happening again. When he says he needs space, you give him that, forever, by walking away and never coming back. He seems like an avoidant, and those types only swear they “love you” once you’re a ghost. They only love what’s not there. And even if you came back, b/c you’re no longer in ghost status, they’ll go right back to being shit. Honey, he just threw himself in the trash. Consider that a blessing.

You’re being way too hard on yourself, I have done so much worse but I don’t regret my past, in that moment whether they were good for me or not… I enjoyed their presences at one point. You’re human, not a statue. But these experiences do make you a lot stronger, coming from someone’ with a history of SA and childhood s**ual abuse…I can say I’m a million times stronger. Also went through terrible relationships and I’m only in my early 20s, most people could not have even survived what I went through but it’s all about perspective. The way In which you view your circumstances determines how you feel or how you identify yourself in relation to certain experiences. Like I identify as a survivor, so I’m gonna act like one. Im not act like victim, I’m not gonna be ashamed for being a pickmeisha in the past, as cliche as it may sound…I would not be the wonderful woman I am today without all the things that happened to me. I am grateful and with time, a change in perspective, and a mindset shift you’ll be on your way to feeling grateful too. But don’t rush this process, yes it sucks but you’ll thank yourself later for allowing yourself to feel at this moment

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You were genuine, honest and authentic with your love. No shame or guilt in that. He is the bad person here, not you. Don’t ever let any man or any person ever have control over your worth, your life and the love you have for yourself. Block him and delete him forever. Gone for good. Heal your heart, pick yourself up with your head high and move on onto better bigger things. Write a letter if you want but don’t send it to him. Just release release release. Release all your feelings and pain on paper then throw it away. Then write another letter for yourself. For your heart. For you. It’s either a blessing or a lesson. Big hugs! You got this.

You can not heal in the same environment you got sick. You can't heal with a toxic partner. Don't beat yourself up too hard for this, get some time for yourself and reach out to your friends. Don't reach out to him anymore, block and delete. And after a while, the veil lifts and you can reflect back on this💜 Take care

Oh also in case you were considering- NO PARAGRAPH TEXTS. Or communication in general. Men like this only hear action, so slam that metaphorical door into his face. K love you

Feeling the sadness and allowing your emotions to pass is the best you can do for yourself right now. As soon as you work through those emotions, you’ll be filled with a sense of relief that he left. Imagine having to go through more bread crumbing, excuses, and hot cold. I hope that you are being kind to yourself and showing yourself love during this time. You are the BEST love you will ever have Queen, and I’m proud of you for being brave and working through your feelings.

I feel for you and anyone would have handled things similarly. Number one you’re in shock when this happens. you’re not in calm relaxed serene mode which just is not your fault. Also how could you bond with a partner and also not care when they abandon the relationship. I really feel as I get older, serious non-marriage relationships are super damaging and women are hit hardest by the set up. I feel for you. You didn’t do anything embarrassing in my opinion and what he said to you in my opinion sounds shady. Like he wants to try something with someone else and come back to you later. He didn’t give you a real reason and said things to leave the door open to come back to you later on . Fully expect this man will return but please do not take him back. I’ve seen men dump women like this to have sex with someone and come back later. It’s cheating, but they do it in a way where they can’t technically be called a cheater but they orchestrated it that way. Anyone who dumps like this is not an honest person I promise you. Clearly you’re an amazing GF because theres no reason he’s dumping you so it must be shady. I swear I’ve seeen this over and over which is probably why you’re so shocked. Also the avoidant thing is something people do when they have someone else lined up. It’s a common behaviour when someone begins an affair or is about to cheat, or always cheating. The attachment garbage teaches people to ignore alarming behaviour. This guy is manipulative and those psych theories l find set people up to hang on to shitty people. The pain will go away and you’ll find someone better if you don’t take this man back. that will be hard because mostly what people do is go sleep with someone else, come back and lie about it, then you find out or they tell you years after THAT. You’ll never feel good with him again but I guarantee he’ll come back or you’ll find out he impregnated someone, or cheated and the OW threatened to tell or something. Wish I could get the truth for you but he did not dump you to be alone, and what he said to me shows a plan already to return to you after having sex with someone else who’s available to him right now. I know that’s harsh, but he wants to be with you but not turn down sex with other people guarantee you. You’re not pathetic he is a shady SOB and you’re a normal person.

I am sorry you are hurting at the moment but please don't ever feel "pathetic" or "embarrassed" for saying how you feel in the moment... we have all done that. That feeling will pass over time, but what won't pass is what he said to you... listen very carefully to that because you did deserve more than just cliche after cliche. If he's not emotionally intelligent enough to tell you what actually wasn't working for him then he's not man enough to hold you at all... a lucky escape I would say. Take all of the love you had for him and turn it on yourself, you are more deserving of it