Genuinely curious. I used to go on dates all the time with men (some low-effort dates) and those rarely to never developed into anything, but the men always treated me kindly and with respect nonetheless. As I've worked on decentering men and keeping my standards high, I've noticed that I am suddenly being insulted and harassed more by men. Primarily, if they send me a message that doesn't warrant a response (like they're trying to get me to put in the effort of having a conversation), I won't respond to them. Sometimes I will simply "like" their last message, but I will not carry the conversation or start a conversation topic if they are being low-effort with their messages. I keep getting told "yikes" or other responses indicating that I'm doing something wrong. To which I instantly block and am appreciative that they weeded themselves out without me having to say anything at all. But it's frustrating and disheartening getting treated like shit when I DIDN"T EVEN SAY ANYTHING. I have never experienced this before in my dating life, so I don't understand why I can't seem to meet any men who are respectful anymore. Maybe because men only treat agreeable pickmes with respect and loathe women who won't put up with their shit?
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No, they don't respect pickmes either. I believe you're treated much worse and used much worse if you're a pickme. When you're like us you just avoid getting used! They hate you cause they can't use you like how they want to use you! And know you won't take their abuse and disrespect so if you're useless to them and they can't exploit you of course you'll get hate and disrespect from them because you refuse to cater to or coddle them.
I'm not on OLD (if that's what you are referring to when you talk about men messaging you), but in real life I have experienced that at some point of your levelling up journey something just seems to change about you that many scrotes can sense that makes them move on to easier prey.
I can't really put my finger on the exact thing but I think when they get the sense that you don't take any shit and you look like "too much effort", it turns them off and they'd rather try their luck with some poor girl who looks easier to get than waste their time with you.
That's why the handbook emphasizes that you should always give men the impression that you are used to being treated like a queen inside and outside of relationships, even if that's not really true. It's about signaling what kind of behaviour you expect as your "normal" and that you will not tolerate anything less than that.
You are not the problem. They treat all women like this. If you're leveling up, you're a shinier object, hence attracting more of the same crappy attention and treatment that less shiny objects get. It's the same thing, you're just getting more of it.
The guys weren't actually kind and respectful before, they just used to keep up their "nice" act for longer around you because it seemed like it was working. As soon as they think they have you trapped, or can't get you at all - then they reveal what they're really like. That's what you're seeing now.
It probably brings out their worst quicker. Which is great for us! We get to see their true colours much earlier on, saving us time, effort and heartache. Levelling up and being a HVW makes dating so much easier because it allows us to sort the wheat from the chaff very quickly and get on with life.
If I start chatting to a guy online and he makes me carry the conversation, I delete him immediately. This means I delete most men (I'd say 95%). These men are showing us who they are and making things easy for us - that's how I see it.
Yes, I was recently called incredibly rude, followed by no wonder you’ve never been married…. After not responding to a text for a few hours. Instant block. I’ve never been called rude by anyone.
Just as women are generally socialised and conditioned to be pickmes/bangmaids, men are socialised and conditioned to feel entitled to it. When we de-center men, and actually respect ourselves ( 😱 ), we 'glitch the matrix'. Without doing anything, you are challenging his concept of reality. Depending on his character, he will snap, or in a rare case, step up.
The losers will harass women online but I’ve never had an issue with men like them in real life. They are as meek as mice face to face. I wouldn’t be bothered by it, LVM and NVM are fundamentally opportunistic cowards.