does anyone else have resentment for their mother not choosing good partners?

My mother married my father, who would become a white-collar professional. She’s the biggest pickme I know due to sacrificing every ounce of herself to serve him, against her own interest.

Yes I resent it.

You mean good? yes I do. I told mother that I can't choose my father but you can choose a man. She bred with a dude who was married and has a daughter from a previous marriage. He was a dick to his first wife and his parents but still had him. He does nothing all day and growing up with him felt like dealing with a lazy roommate. When he got kicked out his own home for harassing and assaulting his neighbors by the police Mother thought it was a good idea to ask me to give him a room to stay in. Unfortunately most men are scrotes and I will have tunnel vision when it comes to vetting.

I believe having a lvm father is his fault but the woman who chooses him and not choose a great step father to make her mistake undone is also to blame for the fact that their daughters didn't have wonderful father figures in their lives.

My own mother is a pickme and her mother too, not only is she a pickme but she gave birth to a whole litter of scrote sons, I had to put up with them. They do nothing all day but I'm called lazy for only focusing on getting good grades instead of cleaning up after them.

Kind of. I keep telling my mum to find hobbies but she just doesn't. She occasionally band wagon hops on one of mine before getting bored and jumping off lol. She has this uber toxic insane pickme friend from childhood who she made my godmother 🤦‍♀️ and oh my gosh that woman is a terrible influence. I could literally write a book about all the crazy things she has done. I've cut her off but I still have to deal with my Mum's constant whinging about their petty friendship drama and trying to guilt me into talking to this woman.

My parents' relationship was a complete nightmare. Think lots of petty drama, two completely unsuited people, ridiculous levels of miscommunication and emotionally abusive behaviour on my father's end. I used to really resent the fact that they made the bad decision to marry each other and then just left me to deal with their mess.

After my Dad died, my Mum hasn't dated much but every time she does it's just red flag after red flag. She has this one really creepy, manipulative orbiter that gives me second hand ick but she refuses to cut off. Then I literally had to sit her down recently and explain why it isn't sensible to get into the car of a man you literally only met once before and who sends you weird anti-vaxx messages late at night.

It's not like my Mum is a bad person, she's just not the most intuitive or sensible I guess. She also seems to attract a lot of toxic and even downright abusive people. I completely understand that she's her own person and needs to make her own mistakes but it's like watching a train wreck sometimes and I feel like I have to put in my two cents, even though she doesn't usually listen.

I could keep resenting her questionable decisions that shaped my childhood but I don't think it's healthy. It's easier to focus on the things I can actually change - basically my own life and my own relationships with people.

I feel you. None of us chose to be bred by people who for whatever reason did not deal with their trauma and wounds. I’m in my late 20s and until recently I had spent my entire life being resentful of my parents for my childhood and adult relationship trauma. Recently I have focused on redirecting the energy I spend on resenting into bettering myself. What’s done is done and there’s nothing we can change about the past. But the present and future is entirely in my control. I want to put all my energy into working out the trauma caused by my mother instead of resenting the past. Everyone is on a different path of healing. There’s nothing wrong with having resentment. I hope you find peace in your heart❤️

Pick me mothers use babies in order to get the love of a man who hates them. That puts the baby in danger and harms the baby's entire future. A mother's job is to protect her baby. This isn't something an "otherwise good" person does. I don't care how brainwashed she was by society; if a woman brings a baby into this terrible world only for this to happen, that woman can go burn for eternity.

a bit, but i resent my father more, for being a leeching LVM.

My mother never married my father, and I can't really judge his character objectively because I was too young when he died.

I am resentful of my mother because of how big of a pick me she is. Completely man obsessed. Always telling me how much more interesting and fun men are.

Sure part of this is being raised in Latin America in the 50s and 60s, but her sisters are nowhere as man obsessed as she is.

Sometimes.

I'm mostly just sad for her.

She tried to wrap her entire life into a partner, but my stepdad wasn't all that attracted to her.

Fingers crossed her soul finds some true love.