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I live in a country where dating culture is VERY new, and most men have never learned proper courtship. Most men here have abusive or negligent fathers like the women, so they also have the problem of being huge man-babies, acting like little lords and kings of their household, and expect women to act like their moms (did i also mention they have these same dynamics with their mothers?)
It has put me off dating entirely and I haven't in years, but i recently spoke to a man still on the apps and he said it was very common to split the bill and he would never date a woman who expected him to pay (which is why we are no longer friends and I would never date him) but it made me wonder if it was even possible to find a man who will pay for you considering the social norm here is women pay. I find this ridiculous because working women are the anomaly in my country and less than 23% of women work, so these men are taking us for a ride and making us spend our hard earned cash. All of these things make me very disillusioned about dating, but I was curious about you ladies. When you have been on dates and men have insisted on splitting the checks, how have you handled that? How did you respond?
No. FDS does not condone giving men dating advice. I smile sweetly, pay my half, then afterward I block and delete.
I pay my own bill, but won't go out with him again. Won't be splitting, paying half, etc. In some restaurants the waiters even ask in the beginning if it's together or separate (billing). If he says separate, you can just leave early.
I do not condone paying your half. Perhaps it's because I'm a blunt New Yorker, but if a man asked me to split a bill, I'd say something like, "I don't think so," get up, and leave. No explanation needed.
I absolutely refuse to take the time and effort to show up, look great, behave well, channel my best energy, AND pay for the pleasure of a man's company. Unless he is physically threatening me, in which case I'd call the police, I have no problem saying a proverbial (or literal) "fuck you" and leaving him with the bill that is rightfully his.
Never push back. Never correct men. They genuinely do not care. Pay your half and then block and delete.
It has never happened but I imagine I would just pay my half and not say another word to them (ever).
Since FDS I stopped offering to pay my half (men always refused me anyway). I now just say thank you. And servers/waiters always place the check by the man, and they usually grab the check right away.
I once went on a date shortly after covid where you had to use your phone to look at the menu and order. The guy did not offer to input my order, so we each ordered our own items. He had the nerve to eat off my plate, so I technically fed him. We vibed really well otherwise but I declined a second date.
"Well you asked me to dinner, so thank you for paying for it" give him a disgusted look, and then if he doesn't pay it right then, get up and leave is my style. Though I've only had to actually do that one time.
Might sound petty to some, but I am stubborn about it. If he made it clear beforehand that it's a date, he should know better. Not my fault if a guy wants to play dumb about it, not my problem if he is trying to date more often than he can afford to.
Agreeing with everyone who says pay my half and leave and block.
If they ask something like “So do you want to split this or..?” my response is usually “Would you like me to pay part of it?” Reactions to this vary, but this way he is either clear about being cheap, or just pays it himself.
If you’re going to pay, at least shame them by saying, “ohhh. You need help with that?”