Do you agree with what traits men value in women?

exactly, if anything men get very competitive and iffy when a woman shows to be smarter than them

It probably depends on the caste/socioeconomic background. Most brahmin families expect a daughter-in-law with a decent education (even if she does nothing with it).

but never better than their son's and is quickly overlooked over looks and family and dawry

Men are avoiding "needy personalities"? As a woman who hasn’t texted or called a man first in years and can go days without a response from one ---what’s that supposed to mean? You sound very male-identified. Surely you have not come to a platform like this to put yourself above women who you believe have needs and are "uneducated"?

 Just as women in the 1940s put themselves above other women who did not bake pies for men as well as they could lol cool girls manage to find some kind of way to still exist. Only now they try to make us feel bad when they are independent, "self-loving" (allegedly, but what woman who cares what men think to that degree really has healthy self-esteem?) and educated, to the degree the precious men want us to be now.🙄



In my lived, and observed experiences men who say they want an "independent" woman are a red flag. I don’t know about Finland but in the US that's coded game for: They want a woman with no needs and/or a woman they can exploit financially for her well-paying job and her unreciprocated emotional labor. If you are unaware this type of thing happens to a degree that it's a problem many women deal with regularly, you are either very young or very lucky..

I’m guessing Finnish women that are independent, educated, etc still get cheated on/mistreated by Finnish men who say they value independence/education.

And I second your points that it doesn’t matter whether or not women possess these traits which result from Finnish government welfare which most women of the world cannot access.

A Finnish woman may not “need” a man to help her with hospital bills because of their medical system in Finland but if they both came to the USA and she realized that he would NOT help her if she needed it, he is still trash. It’s just the socialized medicine covered up his stinginess.

A huge reason women in Scandinavian countries dont get married is because there are not material benefits, not because the Scandinavian men are so evolved and spiritual.

Umm... I just answered in the question of the topic. I do agree about the description in picture about what traits Finnish men often appreciate in women. I didn't talk anything about my personal opinion if it's right or wrong or what kind of culture there is behind of it, so I find it really confusing you making assumptions about me basing of that.

But I can share some of my thoughts about it:

It's true the probably most common reason why in Finland woman is unhappy and eventually leaves from a long term relationship is that Finnish man is not able to (nor willing to) meet woman's emotional and/or romantic needs. So yes, you are absolutely correct about that it does have a quite toxic culture behind of it when Finnish men say they want independent woman. I have experienced this same in all my realtionships with Finnish men (and not so surprising, my current bf is not Finnish and he's able to meet my emotional needs in a completely different level). Finnish men might be very practical and "good on paper", -partners but they sure don't have much skills about taking care of romantic side of their relationship. And they are looking for a girlfriend who doesn't push them out from their comfort zone. Having a Finnish man as a partner is often very much like having a room-mate you just have (bad) sex with sometimes. He does his part of cleaning the apartment and cooking. He's nice, fun and symphatic but he does not want to support you. Not emotionally, not financially, not in any way. He doesn't provide, he expects you to provide for yourself and he for himself. He doesn't want to make an effort for you unless there is something he can have in return.

I just yesterday read a long discussion in Finnish women's channel in FB, where so many girls were sad in advance knowing their spouses are not doing anything or giving them anything for a valentines day coming. It's so common, they felt GUILTY for wishing to have a even damn 2€ rose from nearest little grocery store. Even something like that is too much asked from Finnish men. Many women there said their spouses have been direct: "If you want flowers or chocolate, buy them yourself, because I don't see any point."

I talked about this with my boyfriend too yesterday and noticed the huge difference in his attitude. My non-Finn-bf doesn't care about valentines either, but what he does care is my happiness and just knowing it's important for me to have something special and romantic is valid reason for him to put some effort on it.