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Hi Ladies,
When I turned 27 I started making well over six figures (Now I'm 31). A few guys I went out with during this last year I felt kinda sensed I'm doing very well for myself, and some of them were working very low paying jobs (one worked stocking shelves at a grocery store). So compared to my lifestyle, some of these men claimed to be poor and living paycheck to paycheck and offered up lower cost dates (coffee and cake or drinks etc). I travel internationally when I can especially since the international travel has gotten better recently with less possibilities for country shutdowns, and travel domestic quite frequently. I invest in my appearance and try to pamper myself with spa days and higher end venues, restaurants etc. What I make in one month might be what some of these men make in 6 months. I feel some of them can sense this and deep down feel some type of jealousy or envy and almost want to punish me for it, or at the very least take advantage and try and get me to help them financially. The same grocery stocker guy complained to me about his financial problems on out last 'drinks date' and how he might have to wait till his 50s to pay off his mortgage (when I easily have enough savings plus more to buy a whole house outright in the area I lice without even needing to take out a mortgage). I'm going FIRE and plan on reaching millionaire status before 38. Anyway he went on and on about this and I sensed maybe he thought I could be helpful to him some way financially, but if that's the case I wonder why he screwed up on the date triangulating with some woman at the bar and his ex and also doing some other mistakes like when we dances on the dance floor he ground his hardon against me which felt really violating and on a third date.
Thanks!
Wrong question. Why don't *YOU* care? Even if they guy was completely okay and secure with himself stocking shelves while you're a millionaire, why would YOU be okay dating so much below your level? How would you not resent HIM dragging your life down while he either struggles to pay his mortgage while he couldn't keep up with your lifestyle (ick) or pays it with YOUR money (even ickier). Like, imagine a world where he DIDN'T triangulate and sexually assaulted you, how do you even envision that relationship going?
Only date men that add to your life or don't date at all.
there's more to life than money.
haha! just kidding! we're trying to level the playing field, not remain in the Dark Ages.
a guy i dated once told me, "i don't feel like i have much to offer you, you're so independent." we didn't last long...
do you really want to be a sugar mama?
stay ruthless, Queen.
In my experience, most men care, and they care a lot more than they let on. I'm not going to tell any FDSer to vet men solely by income, but based on my 30-plus years of observation, romantic relationships work best if the man earns the same as or more than the woman does. In general, men hate it when their female partners outearn them in the long term. They might not resent their partner per se, but they will resent the relationship, and they will, sooner or later, make it known in aggressive and/or passive aggressive ways.
Men are more likely to cheat on households where the woman is the breadwinner.
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/husbands-are-more-likely-to-cheat-if-their-wife-is-the-breadwinner
Most men will resent the hell out of you for making more money than them.
They'll hate you and punish you because they're being bested by a woman. If they ever do make more than you, they'll use it to shift the power dynamic. If they don't end up making more than you, they'll seek to bolster their fragile masculinity with cheating and other pursuits that give them a sense of power over the relationship.
Any decent man should care - think about how much more you'd be contributing if you not only made literally more than him but also had kids. What even is his purpose? They're probably rationally asking themselves that and you should be too.
I think it's also important to date guys who make at least as much as you. if not more, since they're likely going to be similarly educated or bring similar personality traits to the table.
I also do pretty well, especially for my area. Not as well as you, and not as young, but still above the median.
Yes, men are super weird about it. It's the power differential that throws them, I think.
This has been especially bad for me because I get weak in the knees over the kind of dude who looks like he fixes cars. 🤦
I view this in much the same way that I view the fact that I am done having kids and won't consider dating men who have children. Yes, this narrows the pool considerably but that's a good thing.
Like children they want to feel needed. If you have your own money and don’t need them then they can’t make their way in to your life. Men love what they can use and a woman who don’t need them can’t be used. They could try and ruin your career to feel like a top dog like heaps of men have done but If you still have things that you want to achieve I advise not to deal with men until you got that. Men don’t like seeing women well and are usually the reason why women retire early.
I make 6 figures and everyone I know does except for some hobby & parenting groups that I spend time in. There is no reason to have a social circle that is not at your level of success and education. It takes curating and reinforcement with a total focus on your goals and values.
I'm not six figure salary, yet. But hopefully will get there this year or next.
I've experimented a little with this. I have an older car so I can basically pretend to be poorer than I am.
But it sucks to pretend to be poor. To be poorer than some of these guys like a grocery stocker you would have to pretend to not have enough money to cover bills and food (ie: I can't buy that because I don't get paid till Friday). And you'd have to have like low grade food at your place and it would have to be a pretty dull place to pass for you being in that socioeconomic class. Exhausting lol. I'm just trying to find guys now that do better than me which is tough. But pretending sucks bc it's like lying basically. And if your passionate about what you do, you have to hide a whole major part of your life.
It cut off part of my message * first part was, this guy is just not smart lol. Really. He's probably not very intelligent. That's the reason for the triangulating and grinding (poor social etiquette). And yes they absolutely can sense when you're doing well.
He is a pervert & saed for grinding against you.