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I'm not sure if I handled this correctly. I was in a checkout line at the grocery store. I got in line and noticed the couple in front of me were the ones who had been loud and obnoxious throughout the shop. Then the scrote saw me and then looked at the cashier and this grin came across his face and he started playfully and sexuallly spanking the woman's behind whist giggling. She stepped back away from him and pulled her dress down lower. The cashier and I looked at each other in confusion and concern. The scrote lightly tapped her behind again as he laughed and she nervously giggled.
"Are you okay?" I stepped forward and approached her. She looker at me and sheepishly said, "yeah I'm fine."
Then the scrote immediately got defensive and looked at me babbling on about how "what? She isn't being assaulted- She LIKES it. She's consenting to it. Some people like to have a good time."
The cashier went to page security and I saw her quickly total up their items. The scrote Then started pointing out to me and the cashier that they'd be using the items to make an adult film later as he giggled. The woman giggled along with him saying how she was gonna hide their faces.
All of it made me extremely uncomfortable but they ended up leaving quickly before security came. Honestly if the cashier and I did the right thing- maybe they were just "kinky" but to me it's just abuse. I was concerned for the woman because her body language showed she was nervous and uncomfortable and her tone of voice when she answered me indicated she was lying.
I was also super disgusted that he was lightly spanking her and making a spectacle of it deliberately so the cashier and myself had to see it and especially at how she recoiled and he continued on and then tried gaslighting me.
Part of me wanted to call out how uncomfortable she was and tell him off - but the other part of me knows scrotes can be crazy and very dangerous. I didn't want him coming after me either. The other part of me was worried she was involved in human trafficking or something awful and I'm worried I didn't do enough.
I ended up talking to the security guard then about the incident.
Honestly I've never been so disgusted at scrotes I'm so enraged but I also wanted to cry just hearing how he gaslit me and went on about how it's NoT aBuSe. He gave me flashbacks to my ex and his gaslighting when he became abusive and I ran outside when he got violent. The number of people that passed me by - and no one even asked of I was okay (no one) was upsetting.
The dissonance between her claiming she's fine and following him out and then giggling along with him versus her body language is very unsettling. I'm well aware that some pickmes willingly let kinky scrotes embarass them in public like this because it's all part of the abuse aka "kink". I had heard people in the store before giggling as they picked stuff out and him saying she had to be a "good little girl" and "earn it" 🤢
If anyone has any feedback on how to handle strange situations like this - hopefully it never comes up again- but I'd like to be helpful to other women without endangering my own safety too much. Thanks.
So, you didn't do anything wrong- BUT I've found it far more effective to just snap "that's disgusting, behaving like that in public." There's no way for someone to justify their bad behavior if you condemn it outright- asking if someone is ok doesn't do much. And if doesn't do anything to show that hypersexualization doesn't benefit anyone in the public sphere.
Just condemn the actions for being in public, if you hone in on her (and he is abusive) you're gonna embarrass her and she'll probably appreciate him stepping in all the more. If you hone in on her and he's abusive then she's in a tough spot to appease him because you singled her out.
I have had security walk me to my car after something like that- they didn't give me any grief over it.
the only suggestion i have is that in order
to protect your safety, discreetly ask the cashier when it's your turn if you could speak to security. both of you witnessed the incident and there should be cameras around so corroboration is possible. i point this out because this sicko fed off the public humiliation his girlfriend bore, which means that simply telling him off merely gets him more erect (ugh). and if he was secretly ashamed, he would remember you enough to exact vengeance.
stay safe, queen. i know you did the right thing ultimately.
You did the right thing. Especially considering you asked her if SHE was okay.
I'd be similar in wanting to come down on him- but personally feel like if someone had behaved inappropriately to me, I’d come down on them hard, but if it’s to another woman, I feel only able to passively intervene.
I was once in a cafe where a man was touchy-feely (inappropriately hugging/rubbing her) with someone who could only have been his mother (age), his partner was with them too.
I had to get up and move as it was triggering and quite frankly, disgusting. I find that some situations I have to protect myself from seeing this kind of behaviour.
"what? She isn't being assaulted- She LIKES it. She's consenting to it. Some people like to have a good time."
"It sure doesn't look like she's having a good time. Maybe you're not as fun as you think"
Then smirk back at him
I think you did the right thing, except: In reality, security guards don't get paid enough to put themselves in actual danger by confronting people. It would be justifiable to call the police, tell them a man is assaulting a woman, give descriptions and even a license plate if you can. If doing that would put you in danger or make the man start yelling at you, though, then don't.
You did the right thing. Asking if she was OK made it clear to the scrote that his actions were not acceptable.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Thank you for standing up to male degeneracy. The world needs more women like you, who stand up to nasty men despite so ial consequences. I will try to be like you in the future :)