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I'm having second thoughts about meeting my community group for lunch this weekend.
(For context: I got to know this group in a government-backed mental wellness program. There are 5 women, 2 men in my group. Every week for five months, we would meet in person and talk about various mental wellness topics: our passion, relationship with our parents, attachment styles, etc.
Looking back, I shouldn't have landed myself in this position. While I'm grateful to meet the women there and for the skills I've picked up, it's never a good idea to share snippets of your life with dudes you don't know. Lesson learned.)
One of the men gives off a bad vibe.
You know the kind who paints himself as the victim, but deep down, you know he's pervy and he'll try to weasel his way into your life when your guard is down?
That's the vibe he gives off.
He was also a little touchy-feely the last time we met. When he touched the area below my shoulder, I felt the ick (I was wearing a name tag there and he touched and made a remark about it).
I know my gut is right. It always is. Women's intuition never fails us.
However, I'm not sure what's the best way to handle this.
Skip lunch?
Forget about the group entirely?
Organize a women-only gathering? I badly want to warn the women in the group, but I'm not sure how it'd be received. I dread the thought of them being pickmes.
Has any of you Queens been in this situation? How did you approach it and what happened in the end?
Sigh...scrotes just have to ruin everything, don't they?
Publicly tell him to "please stop that" in front of everyone the next time he does something creepy to you. If he retaliates by causing a scene and accusing you of being overdramatic, and no one in the group steps up to help you, then fuck em, leave, never go back.
Unfortunately coed mental health groups of any kind are full of predatory men. Choose a women-only group or attend a Zoom-only group.
Take what you have learned from the group and hold women only gatherings with the members that you like.
Never tell your secrets or traumas to a male no matter the scenario. Men are predators by nature, and they're not there in mental health class to fix themselves. They're there to find their next victim and to learn how to further MANipulate via "shrinkese" terminology.
I now tell men to please not physically touch me it's inappropriate in my culture for men who are not my husband or relative to do that. If he weaponizes being dramatic , then I will use the culture excuse to protect myself. If you're white just tell him straight up not to physically touch as you find it inappropriate. He can do all the drama he wants. Don't budge. This must be an American scrote, I swear they are the fucking worst. I've never had any American women or other women I'm meeting for the first time, touch me without my consent. From all the places I've lived in or traveled to, this is most problematic with American men. The guy who moved my furniture to my new apartment put his hand on my shoulder as he was making a joke. It was alarming because men in all other countries I've lived in or been to will absolutely not touch a strange woman or any woman without consent. I was also at a bar one time where an American scrote bartender just came round the bar after serving our food and grabbed me by my waist and told me "you're really pretty." I had to push him off. What the actual fuck! When I was abroad in the UK, Europe, Africa guys asked my permission to hug me. They never ever tried to touch me without permission. And once I was dancing with a guy in my pick me days and he asked if he could kiss me. He was fine when I told him no he didn't get upset. In Asia men never tried to touch my thank god. In certain countries in Asia they stare a lot and I've been followed. But American scrotes are the most rapey even infront of people. They're alarming. I've had guys force a kiss on me and others force physical contact in the past.
There is a saying in leftist communities: "would you drink a milkshake if I told you it had only a little poop in it?" I know we can't have XX only spaces but this applies to any group involving men