Dating outside of dating apps when you're mid-ugly to average-looking?

No woman should have to get surgery in order to attract a guy. Every woman is beautiful in her own way.

Personally, I've never been approached by a guy in my home country (but online I have so many guys interested in me I don't know where to put them) , but I've lived in other countries where guys approached me everywhere (street, Cafe, supermarket, concert, flea market, etc) .

What I'm trying to say is, you're not ugly, sometimes it's just the circumstances and culture.

If you want to improve yourself though, I'd start with your mental health (you don't seem happy with yourself) and then your body language, maybe you come off as not interested and open to getting approached.

I'm just going to stop you right there - no woman is too ugly for men. Not a single woman is. Men are usually uglier on average, and, they'll fuck anything. They'll pine for the attention of any woman to get their fill of feminine energy. And you have that. And they don't. If we go back to how things actually work in nature - you don't need to impress them - they need to impress you.

Never, ever get plastic surgery or anything permanent and costly done to yourself to attract a man. This is pick-me thinking. They are not worth you changing yourself just to please. Fuck that. Work on yourself as a person, your self-confidence, your hobbies, etc. Do it for YOU, not some shitty man.

You are good enough as you are.

Honestly, plastic surgery only alerts men that you have low self-esteem. I have seen many couples where the woman isn’t beautiful and the two are well matched whereas I have seen many beautiful women who are clearly dating beneath them - so looks are only the tip of the iceberg.

It sounds boring and cliché but if you develop confidence and self-esteem, you will not date beneath you again. It’s one thing to be seen but it is another to SEE.

Dont get plastic surgery. Thats not a way to kickstart a healthy anything. All you need is good hygeine, neat hair, and flattering clothes. Pretty much all young women are pretty if they have those 3 things.

You sound quite young; too young to be worried about men. But no matter your age, focus on you. You'll meet men in real life over the years through friends, work, school, other activities, etc. who we become attracted to you for you personality AND your looks. Just put yourself out there without trying to hard or having too many expectations, and let a HVM do the rest.

I very rarely get attention from random men about town. I dont know if it means I'm not that hot, or men are too shy, or whatever. Worrying about that stuff will drive a woman crazy. So just dont.

Just like it has been highlighted by other commenters here, no woman is ugly.

And also, getting approached in public spaces is mostly a headache because they almost never approach you for a proper date or courting process. They are LVs trying to find a plaything to pass some time till they are full or bored.

A lot of attractive women are not getting sincerely approached by men as well. So, if you want to get surgery to improve your looks, it is entirely your choice in the end, but just know that it solely might not improve your chances.

"...pass the verification process."

Verification for what?

Plain women use dating sites all the time. Never a good idea to use them, but not sure what you mean by Verification process.

To be honest, I think society as a whole should move away from Dating Apps. I am Not saying it is Impossible to find meaningful Connection there, but they have more and more turned into the meat markets critics of them always painted them as. They feed into a "there is always someone 'better' around the Corner mindset, people looking for Casual Sex or hookups. I think people should find more Connections in the real world first, take up activities, not with the sole purpose of finding romance but to make Connections to people first and then build from there. Most couples meet by Chance, actually. Via Friends of Friends for example. When you talk to people who hit it Off with someone they will tell you that it wasnt planned, they Met via Friends for example the chemistry was Just right and it happened. Dont plan on being approached at random in public, I dont know where you are from, in my experience, no matter the country, barely anyone is Just approached by a random on the street or at events where Most people go at least with one other friend/Partner or a group to enjoy it in the First place. When you are really lonely built a social circle First with the purpose to built a social Network and Connection to other people via Interests and Hobbies.

I highly recommend the FDS podcast episode "Our best flirting strategies" (it's one of the earlier ones). I consider myself to be beautiful, and guess what? Men ignored me too. The FDS Flirting episode explains that you have to at least show some interest or strike up a convo with a guy--the rest is up to him. A HVM should not just approach random women, that's basically annoying and harassment if she isn't single/not interested. A HVM is looking for cues that the woman might be into him, and "have you tried the vanilla protein shake" or "could you please pass me some napkins" is often all it takes to strike up a simple exchange. The ep. has more detail. Highly recommended!

P.S. You are probably way better looking than you imagine.

The plastic surgery will make you feel worse if it doesn't give you what you wanted. You will have spent a lot of money and only gotten health problems (from complications that can arise during surgery: or cancer because a lot of cosmetic surgery causes cancer). Cutting your own lifespan just to get a man...... That is pick-me-girl behavior. It's self destructive and painful.

Maybe try a hobby or event that is done with a group and used for socializing. Some places have special programs for young people to get to know more people. You could also try volunteering to meet more female friends that way. Then later you could meet guys at a small party that your friends invite you to. And when you are at an event or hobby club, it is okay to talk to people there. Just try to start conversations that don't necessarily have to lead anywhere specific. Just gets you used to talking with people.

Hey love,

I feel you. I would literally bet my cat that you aren't ugly though.

I'm allegedly beautiful, according to unsolicited compliments from women, and a sunny smiley personality. I have been told I look like a particular actress (in a sexy role) multiple times. I was bullied for looking good and put down for how I looked in secondary school.

I never ever get approached. I am early 30s and can count on one hand the times I have been randomly approached in public/vibed with a man in public with exchange of contact info/a man gave me his number . And now that I know men giving their number is lazy and low effort, i feel even worse i havent had so many ask for my number. Sometimes men randomly give me dirty looks (I mean annoyed/disgusted from 10 feet away or more) in public. I am quite curvy and dress conservatively but show my shape. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I struggle a lot with my body image partly because of this, but it is too tiring to perform for men . So many of them are never damn happy and criticized my body , even in reference to anime. They would act like they were doing Me a favor by dating them.

Don't do any plastic surgery for men ever. So many broke their brains and prefer 2D cartoons to flesh and blood anyway. One day you might wake up and realize you forver altered a family member's nose, eyeshape, etc when you look in the mirror. I'm sorry 😞

ETA: I am not saying I am against all plastic surgery, like reconstructive surgery after an injury or something. But it makes me sad how women think we have to have it to be acceptable. I know I feel "bad" for not having botox yet, as if I am behind my peers and lazy. It's really really sick , and I think my interactions with men are most of what gave me body dysmorphia.

ETA 2: so, not too long after I typed this I was randomly approached at the grocer. It was a nice interaction but the fact the man approached me was really inappropriate (well out of my age range AND I found out he was taken). So not all attention is good attention. Please don't blame yourself for any of this; a lot of young men are lost and don't want to find their way.

I would read the art of seduction by Robert Green, and take any of his books with a grain of salt. It will take your mind off your looks and help you improve your skills for engaging with people. So say you are at work, how do you engage the team? If the people around you enjoy hanging out with you, you will get invited to more events, and meet more people. People always remember how you made them feel😉

Dont underestimate the power of regular exercise, it will reconnect you with your body and greatly improve mental and physical health

As another lady said, fitness + diet+ sleep will cover almost everything you need

You'd be amazed at what a rigorous workout routine and highlights and makeup and cute dresses/heels does for you and your prospects. Have good hygiene, smile and be relaxed. Men will flock.

When I was running 6 days a week and weightlifting 3 days a week, men literally could not stay away from

If you are serious about changing your looks, you need to start from the bottom. I dislike plastic surgery personally but if it is something you really want, it should be the very last thing you do; working on physical and mental health should be where you start. Weightloss, toning up, etc. changes the body and face in ways that many people find means avoiding plastic surgery altogether.

I am someone who also doesn't really get hit on in public by men and historically this definitely was a hit to my self esteem especially when I was with other friends who did get that sort of attention. I think two things to remember is most people these days do not cold-approach others in public for dates, and getting hit on in public usually does NOT lead to anything more than that minor interaction, and pretty much 100% of the time its by men you don't particularly care to date anyways, they're bottom of the barrel.

This is a pyramid playing off Maslow's hierarchy of needs from Vindicta that is about 'looksmaxxing'. There's so many things that can be improved by baseline working on your hygiene, diet, fitness, etc. Personally, as I said, I do not believe in plastic surgery, and that also goes into certain noninvasive treatments like the injections and body contouring and whatnot. But I do genuinely believe that working on the stuff I just mentioned in that bottom component will really help, even if it's just mentally and emotionally helping you.