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At what point do you block/delete someone for still being on the app?
I've been on two dates with a guy, as recently as last night, and saw he was online today. Not only on the app we met on, but I saw his profile while swiping on a different app also (that we haven't matched on) and it said "active now." So he is definitely on there to shop around women.
I realize that I was obviously on the app looking around too and we have zero exclusivity and have not even kissed at this point. Still, it kind of ruined things for me with this person.
I'm curious everyone's thoughts on when this becomes unacceptable. My town is very small and dating apps help a lot with meeting people (even though they suck for obvious reasons).
I would block him if I was hurt by it and didn't feel as if he was high value enough to tell him so. If they created enough intimacy that I am surprised to see them there and didn't feel safe telling him.
Most men on OLD have grass is greener syndrome. I also think me being out there trying to protect myself from investing too much, and him being out there using his success with me as the confidence to aim higher, or having sex talk, or racing many women against each other to the put out stage are very different things.
I'm torn on this one. Yes, most men on OLD are “shopping around”. But so are women. I know people are going to say “it's different”, and it is, but you probably also can't expect exclusivity from one side after two dates while the other side continues to keep their options open. I'd say both are free to date others until they agree to be exclusive. Of course it also depends on the “how”, like if he's “sampling” multiple women sexually I'd definitely block and delete.
I once said to a guy, "I am thinking about coming off the apps," and he grinned and sweetly replied, "I feel like I have hit the jackpot, pass me my phone," we didn't work out for other reasons (mainly distance) but that felt quite good!
My understanding is that you have to mutually agree on it, and although three months is the sweet spot (I'm told) I've heard of people agreeing to shut an app down after a few dates but you must make it clear between you, I think that's the key... transparancy and no blurred lines...
In my opinion, I’d only find it unacceptable if it’s been spoken that we are exclusive and it’s quite obvious we are dating or seeing each other. Two dates? I wouldn’t care. Because why should I care? I barely know the guy. If you already feel the ick from it then perhaps block and delete is the best way to go.
If it becomes exclusive.
Keep dating other men. Keep your standards high.
Follow the handbook to the letter
Block him. He sees you as as second choice, subconsciously or not.
Good question! I don't have an answer and look forward to seeing everyone else's responses. I have wondered about this as well.
I would love to hear an update!
I remember in the book "Why Men Love Bitches" that Sherry says you can get away with way more if you say it playfully than in a serious/angry tone...maybe I'll make a joke about seeing his profile on the other app or something? This would not only let him know I'm aware he's still on there, but make it clear that I'm still looking too.