Dating a man that uses social media

I could easily say I don’t want a guy who uses social media, but then what’s stopping that guy from using google, p*rnhub and other sites to search that content? Is that to say I’d rather a guy that doesn’t have internet, then to say I’d rather he not have a computer, then to say I’d rather he not leave the house in case he thirsts over others or cheats? Then the spiral continues. Sometimes social media is necessary for work and family. But snapchat is a big NO, that’s pretty much for teenagers and sending nudes. I’d be inclined to put reddit in that category too. Overall, it’s not the social media that concerns me, but rather what they do with it! As long as it’s in balance, he’s not addicted and he uses it in a meaningful HV way then it’s ok. I like the guys that have social media, are wholesome when they use it, but they often forget social media exists because they’re too busy enjoying life!

I think women need to talk to each other and create a much more mainstream opinion that men using these apps is creepy and unacceptable. This is part of why men don’t want women to speak to each other. The norm is that it’s “ok” to use these, I think the norm can and should switch the other way the more we talk to each other about this.

You're entitled to your standards and have reasonable suspicion towards men who use it. Speaking from experience though, not using social media doesn't disqualify him from being a major creep. So I think not using social media should be considered as bare minimum, not a valuable trait.

Grown men with tiktok are sketchy. Reddit and Snapchat too for obvious reasons

When men use social media, it can be a valuable tool for us to scope out their social media persona. However, social media is addictive and by and large a waste of time. It is incredibly attractive when men don't use it, or use it sparingly.

I wudt want one but it’s so hard to find. Even 35 year old guys first ask your ig username immediate turn off and a red flag 🚩 for me personally. Like you don’t wanna get to know me over a time and take me out on date and you get to access my whole life on ig without even knowing and putting an effort . Lol no . A lot of lvm just love having as many women as they can on their ig so they can keep kill time and scroll through sea of woman’s life on social media

I agree with the above user, but would also like to add the following:

• I think social media consumption/platforms should correlate with age. For example: any guy past college-aged should not be using apps like tiktok or snapchat. Snapchat is for fucking around with friends and nudes. Tiktok is a huge timesuck, not to mention a million other red flags. Even with instagram or facebook, it really depends what he’s doing on there.

• Consumption and activity should be moderate at most if he’s a well rounded adult.

Still using Snapchat is a huge red flag lol

I don’t necessarily have a problem with a man using SM, but it depends on what kind and what’s his usage. Tik tok? No. Reddit? Hell no. FB and instagram is fine but still will vet. Not interested in a man who uses it a lot, it just tells me he has a lot of spare time and instead of using it to go out and be active he spends it on SM.

Depends on the algorithm for me and what he is scrolling thru. 36/

The thing is, they can use social media but lie and say they "don't have it".

The only way to know the truth is to snoop their phones.

As a 30+ woman, IG, Snap, TikTok and Reddit are a no.

FB can be used for group activities (activism, hobbies, etc), so that's okay to me.

Twitter is a maybe but that has a lot of objectification/sexualization of women, so it depends. Same with YT.

I think Instagram is basically porn. Worse it’s like soft porn of people the person actually knows. I can’t say I’d have a very strict rule here but the men I know who are more mature have no Instagram (tik tok too) , or they have an Instagram account they rarely/ never log into with like 4 pictures That they just haven't bothered to completely delete. In my opinion its immature to be wanting attention from acquaintances and to present some Hollywood life to people you barely know. Also to want to stay in touch with everyone you meet is pretty immature if you’re in your 30s unless it’s a big part of what you do for work (real estate Is an example). I’d get a feel for someone rather than strictly disqualifying social but I’d say it’s a bad sign and low likelihood that they are going to be a serious candidate for anything.

I would never date a guy again that uses social media. They always end up too immature selfish and at worst psychopathic. I'm off social media except FDS and one other non mainstream website to do with my hobbies and Google for researching info needed. I have no other need for anything else and I'm not spreading myself so thin have more time in my life and I'm not getting any online abuse. All social media is a red flag to me. The reason won't be recognized by alot of people but I don't care, I'm purging all negativity from my life and I'm already feeling better.

As a 30-something woman, I think it's a red flag if a man uses social media often. You should not know all about a man's life (or much about his life at all, beyond the basics) based on his social media posts. All the HVM I've known use social medial sparingly or not at all.

Other commenters have noted that lack of social media use alone does not necessarily indicate an HVM, and I agree with the sentiment.

I don't think using social media itself is a red flag. It's true that there's a lot of sexist content online but you can control what appears in your newsfeed by choosing who to follow. Plenty of women use social media and it's not like they're turned on by the pics of half naked girls there. You should definitely check what a guy is following on social media though. If he's following all these Instagram models and pornstars then yes, it's a red flag.