posted on reddit then deleted bc my partner is a redditor.
my partner and i have been together for five years. we're very happy except for one issue - he is a caretaker of an elderly family member and lives about 45 min from me. we've talked about moving in together for about 3 years but i am really hesitant to move 45 min away in a house i don't want to live in with a 3rd person i don't want to live with.
this is our only issue and we don't know how to move forward.
hope someone sees this.
Don’t do it! Seriously, don’t move in with a guy you’re not married to if you’re hoping to ever get married. Especially because once you do move in, the caretaking is going to fall to you, I guarantee it. If he asks you to commit to doing all that with nothing in return, you’re about to get used big time.
Your choices really are to either wait or to move in. Or maybe to find another place like the other commenter said. That's probably the best solution.
Is he open to finding a new place? A great way to work around this is by finding a new place that has a guest house in the back. My friend lives in her family's guest house and she loves it! It has a kitchen and a bathroom attached to it, and some even come with walk-in closets. It's really up to you though, because I have no info regarding your relationship with this family member.