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Today I was at a coffee shop. I got a smoothie and a scone. I sat down to wait for my order. I glanced over at a table and smiled. When I picked up my order my hands were full. As I looked at the door I notice a man that was at that table had got up to open the door for me. I said thank you. (Honestly, I was relieved because I had my hands full. ) He responded, well your the prettiest gal in the place and my momma didn't raise no dummy. His comment is very interesting, for so many reasons. I had a feeling like , so you do know! Like men have gaslit women about basic manners and I'm sick of it.
Side question. One time I mentioned to my ex that I thought pretty privilege was a real thing. He told me no, that people act that way for everyone. I'm pretty sure that's not true, it is real and I was right. What do you think?
I am always insulted when I am told, "you are the hottest girl, prettiest girl etc in the room" there fore that is the only reason I am speaking to you, giving attention to etc. We all should take offense to this comment! Because it IS offensive. One time I retorted back to a man who said this to me, "So if a prettier women than I, entered the room, would you drop me and go speak to her???" And the answer is a resounding YES!! Don't be flattered by this statement ladies. Be offended!! Because these scrotes are telling you, they WILL drop you for a hotter female if and when she arrives.
Men think it’s not a thing because they literally don’t see the women that aren’t pretty. Sure they’d help out any woman but unless she’s “pretty” they don’t register her as a woman 🙄
Any woman who thinks it’s a compliment is seriously deluded. I enjoyed my privilege when I was younger but didn’t set much by it. I had a friend who literally didn’t know what to do with herself as she hit her mid thirties as she’d coasted by on pretty privilege and had nothing else to her. She became an insane pickme desperately seeking male validation.
How men treat women they don't want to sleep with is how he treats women. So he told on himself that you were only deemed worthy of any respect for being "pretty". Better not wear baggy clothing on a day your hands are full lol.
I dress "up" pretty frequently, perfect makeup and well done hair, feminine form-fitting dresses. Men fall over each other to get doors for me and to speak to me when I'm dressed like that.
But when I'm in my jeans with no makeup? There is a definite difference between how men treat me. I'm mostly invisible, sometimes treated with downright hostility.
As a result, it just irritates me when men try to be "chivalrous" when I'm dressed up. Like, I know you'd be practically pushing me out of your way to get to that door if I had my jeans on, sir lol.
You’re right, he’s BSing you. Idk why men pretend everything they’ve been brainwashed to believe is a secret we shouldn’t know.
He was probably trying to be complimentary, but putting other women down is not a compliment and only opening doors for women you find attractive is the opposite of good manners.
I like men who open doors for everyone, including other men 😀
'Pretty privilege' is real in that men have chosen what is pretty for the past thousand years. Women who perform feminity are superficially rewarded by men, then dropped when you're deemed no longer useful. It's depressing that men have made pretty privilege a thing.
No. Even as a former ugly duckling I don't believe pretty privilege exists. Men being creeps and desperately seeking the attention of women they are attracted to and sexualing women is coined "pretty privilege". After 19, I lost my teen acne, awakwardness, and ugliness and my face naturally changed, and I became pretty. When I was ugly, men ignored me or seemed annoyed by my presence or they were rude to me. When I had my transformation and men started holding doors and helping me, they usually expected something in return whether it was my number, attention etc. I attracted a diagnosed narc who used me as arm candy. Men would proclaim their love to me based on my appearance. "You're so beautiful, I think I'm falling for you." When I asked them what they liked about my character they had no answer and looked at me stupidly with a blank expression. They didn't care about my wit, love for learning reading, and craving for intellectually stimulating conversations or comedy driven witty banter. American men are weird because they also think looks and intelligence are mutually exclusive. They started assuming I am stupid because I'm pretty, and treated me as such, despite the fact that I have always been academically inclined and worked hard for a STEM degree and job and got a full ride academic scholarship to escape the poverty of my third world country. I attract a lot of shallow men with no depth to their character. Men have always only dated me for me looks. They didn't care about my hobbies, what I read, what I'm interested in , etc. Many of them were put off once they realized I was more intelligent than them. I feel I was sexually and emotionally abused for being pretty. Now that I no longer entertain ugly men, I have to deal with them trying to humble me. To be fair they tried to humble me Pre-FDS. I'd rather go back to being mostly invisible to men or them being annoyed or rude rather than to continue being dehumanised by them.