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Okay. I wanted to ask how people here feel about blow jobs once you’re in a committed relationship (with someone who you believe actually cares about and values you). I think for me, it always felt sort of degrading - even in a relationship. I spent my twenties focusing on my career - and the notion of spending time and energy on learning how to sexually please men never sat well with me. I will say that I always expected oral sex but I never felt oral sex needed to be reciprocated since men always come from PIV (and I’ll admit that I don’t - though I know some women do). I think I also have a chip on my shoulder because I am a scientist and have been discriminated against in my profession for being a woman. So that probably feeds into my feelings about not wanting to go out of my way to give men more things they don’t deserve. Maybe I also feel like there are too many assholes in the world being rewarded with blow jobs - and I didn’t want to be part of it 😂.
Anyway, I am currently in a relationship which is almost going on a year. It is the first time I’ve had a partner take the time to get to know my body and pleasure me in a way that not only feels amazing, but I don’t feel objectified by it at all. He communicated to that he loves blow jobs and it’s the first time I’ve ever routinely provided them to a partner (and I’m in my thirties). I wouldn’t say I love the action of it, but I do like seeing my partner happy because I love him and it really feels good to him. Plus, the mechanics of it don’t bother me as much now that I’m getting used to it. Because I feel secure with him and the relationship, I’m now okay providing this service. But I wanted to know if other women had conflicting feelings about giving blow jobs. I can understand the idea of loving your partner and wanting to do things that make them happy - but it was always hard for me to understand the women who say they “love” giving blow jobs because they feel “in control”. Giving oral sex makes me feel super vulnerable because it’s an action where I am selflessly giving the man pleasure.
I really give the side eye to women who claim they love giving blow jobs. I just don’t believe any women LOVES it. For me I don’t mind as long as I’m in a loving relationship but even then I don’t do it much. You should really do things that you’re comfortable with. If it bothers you a lot , then you’re not required to do them. Sex should always be consensual, as in both partners should be enthusiastic about it. This means no money/favours exchanged, no corrosion etc. No one , man or woman should be forced to engage in sexual acts that make them uncomfortable.
I agree they’re degrading, especially deepthroating 🤢. I think women who have no gag reflex don’t even enjoy deepthroating because it’s just a form of pornsickness. I heard deepthroating got really popular from a porn movie called Deep Throat (where they r@ped the actress), and of course the act is spreading due to mainstream porn. I will never ever be with a guy who made a woman deepthroat 😡. However, if we don’t include deepthroating, I still think BJs are degrading and they will never will be equal to going down on a woman. Giving a BJ is way more painful and difficult in practice. It’s totally okay if you make BJs a boundary! I think there are HVM who don’t give a fuck about BJs and will focus more so on the woman’s pleasure. I'd also like to add most men BJs are degrading. Why else would they tell a guy to "Go suck my dick" in an insulting way? 🙄
So you basically had a boundary and now you relaxed that boundary because youn found ThE RiGHt PeRSon? 🤔🤔 And started providing a "service" that gets you absolutely no pleasure at all? 🤔🤔
Because he "loves blowjobs"?? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
For any woman reading this, you DON'T have to do this. If a man even so slightly suggests you perform "services" on him that he KNOWS don't give you pleasure, he's as bad as any pornsick scrotes and it's time to block and delete.
Yeahhh, blow jobs = porn sick scrote. It’s a huge red flag. Bjs are humiliating, uncomfortable, degrading, and gross. They’re used in porn all the time specifically for that reason which is the only reason why that’s even a thing nowadays. Sex feels better, hell, even a hand job feels better. So why would a HV guy realistically want a bj when other options feel better and are on the table? They wouldn’t. No HV man would want to degrade, humiliate, or otherwise place the woman they love in an uncomfortable situation. HV men don’t watch porn and so blow jobs wouldn’t even occur to them bc they’re unnatural.
Like, I get wanting to be nice to a guy we love, but pornsick scrotes don’t deserve love, affection, kindness, nor attention. They’re LV, worthless trash. They deserve to rot alone, unloved and discarded. Any man who would ask me for a blow job I’d immediately block and delete. Makes me feel repulsed just thinking about a guy having the audacity to ask such a degenerate question.
I totally know what you mean about mixed feelings. I have loved giving BJs to a few men who gave me zero pressure, made me feel like a goddess for showing Jr any attention, and prioritized my pleasure always. The SECOND I get porn vibes or him acting dominating, I refuse to do it ever again.
They are the biggest pain in the ass when it comes to sex. One scrote even made me puke once 🙃 it‘s enough to never wanna date a man again.
Absolutely nothing enjoyable about them at all and anyone who says they are is lying
I don't like giving blowjobs and I'm happy my partner doesn't want them. He is aware of the fact that it's not enjoyable for most women, and it feels weird to him. That said, I don't think it makes you a bad feminist or whatever to orally pleasure your partner if you genuinely want to make him happy in that way (and have vetted him to be sure he deserves it). I just wanted to say it's valid to refuse giving oral and a good man will respect that choice, and will NOT withhold oral himself just because you don't give it.
I gag on my tongue cleaner while brushing my teeth.
One can only imagine how much I hate the idea of bjs. I don't understand who even came up with it
They're degrading, and more power centered
I used to do it, but refuse to any longer. Unless they are putting in the selfless work for my pleasure, I am not going to selflessly work to please them. I have always gave and gave and gave. Not anymore..
I'll never give another one. They are bad for the jaw--all that suction with a wide opened mouth can contribute to TMJ. It's hard to look attractive with a dick in the mouth--really, it looks ridiculous, and the dude is looking down while she's going to town and thinking it too. Men also know that they are degrading, and use the act as a way to insult others--"cocksucker", "suck my dick", etc. Blowjobs are also not required to make a man orgasm.
So, all in all, I can't see a good reason as to why I would ever give another one. Sex can be hot and passionate without them, and I am more than capable of creating heat without having balls in my nose.
Tfiouuu disgusting, imagine putting something that is used to piss in your mouth, I could never.
I refuse to deepthroat but I'm a very sexual person when I am in a relationship and enjoy giving and receiving without reading into it all too much. As long as it doesn't feel degrading to me in the larger context of my relationship and the guy isn't a scrote, I'm good.
OMfG this reminds me of a story my ex pickme friend told me. She started complaining to me that she was having chronic diarrhea. I know, TMI. But being the good friend, I was trying to give her tips like eat more fiber to solidify her poops, buy psyllium husk powder, maybe it's lactose intolerance? Yada yada. Well, one day she blurts out that the real reason it's happening. She says, "It only happens after I swallow my bfs cum. Then I'll have diarrhea for a couple days afterwards." What?! ROFL So I asked her WHY in the world would she keep swallowing her man's cum if it keeps giving her the shits, and she legit told me with a straight face, that getting that extra testosterone was healthy for her muscle mass and weight loss. She did lose weight during that relationship, but probably cause she was constantly shitting her brains out ROFLMAO
That is not a sex act. It is purely for the humiliation and submission of women. That's it. No mf on earth should even consider to put his junk inside a woman's mouth!
The act of fucking is considered degrading on its own! So what do you think of fucking a woman's face and mouth??? Where her power is! Where she communicates and expresses herself!!! Not only that but she takes the cum of the man in her mouth!!!! Even swallows?!?!? Or has cum all over her face?? Absolute degradation towards women. Knowing the value of cum is lower than shit. You what that act symbolises every. single. time.
Men wont show u or tell you what they're thinking, you'll never hear because ur not a part of society to them ESPECIALLY while they're fucking you. Youre the sex animal that is to be used. A much weaker sex object even socially and sexually and physically.
Use ur brain and critical thinking. Males are and always have been ur enemies. Ur "love" for them (that they dont deserve) shouldnt blind u from your self respect. Draw boundaries with yourself too.
If you're a real feminist, you would never consider it to be a sex act and you would not accept a guy that wants to jam his dick inside a womans mouth or tounge or face or throat.
Sex is not equal. Treat it as it is.
I like them, and sixty-nine is probably my favorite s*x act. However, what I don’t and won’t do is the “porn blow job”. I hate how porn represents oral s*x, repetitive, boring and laborious for the woman. What I like is more similar to making out, if you will 😄 Mouth is an erogenous zone after all, and I do enjoy that stimulation.
Personally, I don't enjoy receiving oral (it's actually one of my biggest turn offs) though I don't mind giving it occasionally as a part of foreplay. If he tries to finish in my mouth, grab my head, or do any pelvic thrusting, then it's immediately over. Also, since I hate receiving oral, I expect the man to figure out another way to get me off. If he doesn't ask, or try, or if he whines about me taking too long, etc., then it's also over. Lastly, if a man makes any sort of comment along the lines of "you just don't like being eaten out because you haven't had someone do it right," then it's another major red flag that he doesn't respect my boundaries. In a way, the topic or exploration of oral sex can be a good vetting strategy.
I’m not interested in giving a blow job to completion. I do, however, think my husband has a beautiful penis (some jus nicer than others) and I do like to kiss, caress, play with all of his body parts. So, yeah, I’ll play with it during foreplay, but it will never be the main act, with full on blow job mechanics. I find that degrading. My husband actually agrees, so all good there!
I saw a tiktok of this dad telling his wife" I don't want my daughter (5 year old) sucking dick." ( His wife filmed it, to show how much her husband " love'" and " appreciate" his daughter). Eww
I don't like giving Blowjobs, so I don't give blowjobs.
Ewww never