Block and delete immediately when men mention female friends?

Agreed—our instincts are instantaneous, and it can take time for us to find verbal explanations for our instincts.

Wish I'd have done number 1 when this happened to me! Instead I did number 3..lol.

I always think #3 is the best choice. #1 risks him confronting you and could put you in danger while #2 risks getting too emotionally involved and wasting too many precious mental resources on some random meaningless scrote. Someone on FDS also made a really good point that doing something like #3 also gives them the least information as to why they fucked up, so they won't learn to mask better around other women, so it's helpful for other women too.

I agree there is no reason for a man to bring up or compliment other women on a date. It is very manipulative behavior, and men know exactly what they’re doing.

Exactly. I have also never witnessed a relationship in which the man had "female friends" and did not triangulate his partner.

We need to normalize men not having friends the way we normalize men not being alcoholics or drug addicts.

Thanks for simplifying this for me. I will continue blocking and deleting.

A guy can be from an only female household and that’s okay. What matters is how he behave with you. HR department is full of women and usually the guys there are good. I dunno what kinds of guys have friends who are women and dumping god knows what trauma on them. But if a person is weird, he is weird.

I'm thinking something about -the way- they are mentioning female friends might be suspect. It's making her instincts tell her something. IMO.

The ethnicity thing is on point, it is a big deal. If he mentions the race and/or size of women, he is porn fried. Like, his dick is on life support, and he "cant help" but describe women as porn categories. He is already at least one foot into incel/mra/redpill social contagion/brainwashing. Run! Lol.

He sounds like a circus director, and these women are his clowns. Well done on refusing to join the circus act!

Lmao yesss!! 😂 I cringed so hard they just swooped right in like they had keys to his house, saw him with me playing dnd and started hugging on him and he didn't stop them or anything. They can all have him. I don't envy pickmeishas orbiting broke dusty STD riddled dudes who claim interest in poly. They can all have that Community D and I'll stay outta the 🎪. He thought he could turn me out to be one of his 🤡 . But really they played themselves cause I'm laughing all the way to the bank and getting to the money bag! I also realized if they have to try so hard to make me jealous..that really they're the ones jealous of me.

Yes this! In my case the scrote tried using me for free rides 😂😂 Asked me three times and didn't pay gas each time. I swiftly blocked and deleted. That's not a friend that's a user! Needless to say he had only female friends..just using all of them for free rides etc. His female bff was his personal chauffeur plus she was married! Lmao that woman had no self respect cause I wasn't having it. Then again she's 25 I'm 31 so worlds of difference..

I agree with you here, and I'm curious about the responses. I think context matters, and also how people define friendship.

I have a handful of male acquaintances I would have at one point would have called friends, very few I would consider close. The one I'm closest to is married but what I would consider mostly a HVM who really loves and supports his wife. We've known each other since we were 11, and his wife knows me very well. The three of us spend a lot of time together, he is extremely doting and affectionate with her in front of me, etc. I reckon our relationship is probably a huge exception, though. Most of his close friends are women because he knows most men are trash and hates associating with them, lol.

On the same token looking back the vast majority of my male 'friendships' involved obvious sexual tension or attraction from one of us, and knowing what I know now I would have treated those relationships very differently. I do believe that a qualifier for a HVM is the ability to have respectful, non-objectifying female friendships.

I think in general but especially mid to low-value men throw the term "friend" around really easily and are less likely to use acquaintance for casual relationships, as OP points out. I feel that anybody they hang out with more than twice becomes a "friend". On the contrary women, esp FDS-minded ones, have more defined and stricter qualifications for true friendship.

Overall I do consider it a red flag if a single man spends most of his time around women and has only female friendships, and he automatically gets filtered into the do-not-date list because the most likely scenario is that he's trolling for P / female attention / validation / orbiters. BUT I don't think it's out of the question that HVM can have healthy, non-sexual female friendships

Yeah you don't want a man who is unwilling/unable to relate to women at all, but you also don't want one who surrounds himself with women (especially when partnered). It's a tricky balance. I think it's important to vet for a man's ability to be friendly towards a woman he doesn't intend to f*ck. That tells you loads about his character. Sadly, most men would still be open to sex with most women if it came down to it... Sigh. Fwiw, my bf has had a female best friend from childhood (not friends anymore though, grew apart) and I do think that's fine in that case, because small kids don't really think in sexualized or gendered terms that much, that really ramps up in puberty. If such a friendship carries over into adulthood it might be more like a sibling-type bond and therefore more tolerable. Only if the man is decent, though.

Of course. I am not defending triangulators, players and their harem. I am not denying that many close m/f friendships have a romantic or sexual undertone. That's why I am weirded out by the cascade of downvotes, I just said it would be a red flag if a man had literally no women in his life in any capacity. It's pretty normal to have coworkers, friendly acquaintances (that they NOT cuddle with or shit), maybe childhood friends, just... regular interactions with women. I would be concerned if a man wasn't able to relate to any woman, that would qualify him as a mysogynist for me. And yes, not having super close opposite sex friend is a valid boundary, but expecting a man not to talk to women in any capacity? Not that reasonable. Not to mention this: if I date a man and he has female friends I WILL know what kind of "friends" are they. If you're observant and not naive, you'll pick up on that immediately. In my experience is very obvious when a friendship has crossed boundaries into "harem/emotional cheating/unrequited love territory". So self evident that there's no need to obsess over it. Just observe.

Yeah, these types of men do not sit well with me. I refer to them as "faux-feminized". The feminine energy they surround themselves with rubs off on them, but at their core, they're still men who want to fuck women/maintain a harem.

It is fundamentally unattractive, and the only course of action for us is to walk away.

💯 Your instincts are right! Also I want to note you do not have to defend yourself against weird comments asking you to explain or clarify - some here have a bias against what they perceive of as a problematic “trend” of “heartlessly cutting people out” that shows up in the comments sometimes without them ever being up front about their bias; a bias that is plain as day to those aware of their comment history.

Thank you for your support.

I think you're referring to me? I said before that cutting off friends too easily can be problematic. I've also said before that this doesn't apply to men that we date, who SHOULD be cut off as a matter of survival.

So I wouldn't make this about a bias of cutting men off or not, because it's not even remotely the point. OP can cut off all the men she wants, the point is, are men with no women friends mysogynist? Because that's an important question imo, if we take self defense as a top priority.

This is especially important because she specified very clearly in the post that she isnt' talking about men with dubious close female friendships (something we all agree is undesirable). She counts as "female friends" all female acquaintances, and that's what requires some reflection, because I genuinely believe that being unable of having ANY female acquaintances IS a massive red flag that you see women as an unrelatable "other".

Just curious why this would be a red flag in particular? Had this happen with me and it seemed like triangulating to me and that he was trying to get me to compete for him lmao. I don't compete for community D!

You’ve said it yourself… triangulating and trying to get you to compete for his attention ⛳️

Yeah true! It's funny cause these same dusties have zero to offer one woman yet want a whole harem 😂 Their delusion is off the charts.