Beliefs 'out of character'

Hey Queens!

I‘m turning to your collective wisdom to help me explain this phenomenon.

I had many scenarios in my life with acquaintances of all genders where they seemed like an overall great person with their values in place, but then they said something so OUT THERE that you started doubting their whole character and true motivations, and even what they could be capable of.

The below is just an illustrative example:

I had a flatmate, let’s call hin C, with whom I lived together for over 2 years. He was very compliant, polite, accommodating, considerate among other things. Of course I never dated him or ever thought of him as someone of any sexual/romantic interest, so I’ll never know what he’s like in an intimate relationship. But as I observed him as a boyfriend to other ppl, he seemed to be the ‘good guy‘ type (not the incel-y good guy, but a genuine nice person who has a potential to be HVM).

I was therefore utterly taken aback when he once proceeded to describe his ex-neighbour as a really good guy who *only beats his wife when he gets out of control due to alcohol problems* but has otherwise a heart of gold.

Now it would be very hard for me to imagine a scenario in which C acts aggressively or even disrespectfully towards any woman ( of with a small % of chance of that happening just like with everything else in life). But otherwise ‘good‘ guys (or even women) having such awfully faulty judgements of situations gives me cognitive dissonance… like WHO are they really, how come that what they believe in is so different than what they act like - or could it be that they simply act according to their misogynistic beliefs in other scenarios/with other people??

Would love to hear some thoughts & observations.