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Hey girls!
So I wanted to get some advice about a guy that I am interested in. He is a relatively small youtuber and I got to know him as we have common interests (he was recommended to me).
He fits the ideals in what I want in a man on the surface level (I don't know him personally yet). He's cute, funny, charismatic and quirky. For the past year I have picked myself up and been focusing on my own dreams, working hard. Ive moved country. I was depressed for some time but I kept pushing on with my projects, and they became my everything. Even if I have no friends, no relationship at least I had them, and I know that they would never leave. Then I crossed paths with this person. Hes ironically in the same country as me currently.
He's pushed me to become a better person. I am planning to make my own channel. Something that I wanted to do for a long time but I was too nervous because of judgement. I have met new potential friends as well, teaching me how to be confident, as well as loving myself.
I know that I want this man. In fact I am deciding to get rid of all these dating apps. I know what drew me to him, is the fact that he's being successful, hard working and living his own life too. And I want to strive to be that desirable too.
Those nasty desperate scrotes on the dating apps will never turn my head anymore. I have always been in terrible relationships with men that didn’t really like me, all because I was desperate.
Well end of my rambling but I do want attract this particular man into my life. Even if he gets a girlfriend, it honestly wont bother me because he has motivated me to level up my life even further. I have became happier and happier throughout this year and this is the cherry on the cake because I finally have hope. And like I said if I don't get the man, I will have not lost anything because I will have achieved even more things. Hes just a catalyst. I don't want to be a pickme, make a mistake or come across as embarrassing so I need reminders on what NOT to do in terms of this ambitious quest in attracting him into my life.
Wish me luck!! :D
You're putting him on a pedestal big time. I can see why, he's doing things you find hard and he's doing them successfully.
Continue focusing on yourself and don't date. When you put people on a pedestal it's because you feel inferior to them in some way. This is will muddy the boundaries you set with other people, and also with yourself.
I've put people on a pedestal before, it was always because they had characteristics I felt insecure about. I wanted validation from them, to bask in their knowledge. It led to me overlooking red flags.
Take this as a golden moment that you're going to benefit from for the rest of your life. Start recognizing when you're putting someone on a pedestal and see it as an exercise to get to know yourself even better. The way we feel and respond tells us so much about ourselves!
You say he matches up to what you're looking for, but you don't know him personally yet. How do you know he fits these descriptions then? You're getting way too excited for how little you know about him. Sounds more like you have an unmet need that you're projecting onto him. Validation, intimacy, friendship?
Happy to hear you've been doing better! :)
Don't. You are not the pursuer and are acting like the queen of pickmes. Re-read the handbook.
Crushes and hero worship do not serve us.
I once had a minor crush on a youtuber. I thought about contacting him... he is a small political youtuber (Australian) who I agree with on many things. I decided it's better not to contact him, seemed way too desperate. A few weeks later I see him saying misogynistic things, definitely glad I didn't contact him 😂 You just don't know the real person, people can seem to be whoever they like. It is possible to date a youtuber (I know a woman who did start a relationship with a youtuber- however he was a real narcisstic emotionally abusive arsehole), but I think it's generally a terrible idea. Plus women shouldn't be the ones pursuing, it sets you up for failure from the start.
No. Please, stop. You don't know this person. Youtube "personalities" are businesses/ wanna-be businesses. The people behind them intentionally want to draw you (and anyone else) in so that you feel invested in them and keep watching their channel. That's literally the whole point. You've fallen for an illusion. You will get to "know" him as much as I "know" Beyonce. And stop giving credit to a rando youtuber for any progress you've made for yourself. You did the work, not him.
How can a man motivate you to level up? 😐
A female is the most worthy and valuable being on Earth. He should invest in you with his money, not motivate you.
Do not. You have involved yourself in a parasocial relationship with this guy and are exhibiting serious pick-me behaviour. 100% male “quirky” YouTubers and streamers are perverse fuck boys with a taste for underage viewers. Never fails.
if you haven’t met him in person then there’s no point in looking up to him.
Worrying about how to attract him is a waste of your precious energy. He needs to come to YOU. You have nothing to prove after all.
Cast a wider net. Never get hung up on one man. Read the handbook.
Can I say, well done for the open attitude OP. Hearing these truths is HARD. *chefs kiss* on the introspection