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I don't know what your experience has been ladies but I find men with mostly female friends to be a special type of creep! I have a feeling they don't have many male friends around because they'd be able to see through their BS and manipulations. I feel men like this are mysogynistic and just using this what he perceives as a female harem to triangulate women he dates with and use each of these women according to various needs like one for emotional support, one for rides if he doesn't drive, etc. I feel women who make friends with straight men are pickmeishas who are setting themselves up to be used and played. Not to mention straight male friends are sexual opportunists and would gladly rape their female friend if she let her guard down around him probably. It's dangerous having male friends and I find all they do is suck the life out of you because they constantly cross boundaries and treat you like you're their gf in the sense they want you to slave for them but without any commitment from their end. I also feel like they're sexual predators and just using women surrounding them to appear like they're safe and not a creep when really it's the opposite really the women surrounding this loser are just naive and gullible and can't see this guy is a full blown narcissist sociopath and can't make friends with men easily who'd see he's fake and full of sh*t. I straight up block and delete any men who has even one female bff around because that's just straight trash in my eyes and he cannot be trusted at all. One trashbag i had unfortunately went on a few datss with kept texting me about all his female friends, eben down to their ethnicity and would mention hes hanging out with them aline and gardeninng with them or going to their house. I felt that was blatant triangulation and disrespect to me as the woman he's dating.
That as*hole even gave some of them the keys to his house and they were running in and out of his house like they were his gf. He had zero boundaries with them and got highly defensive with me when I asked him if he preferred female friends over males and claimed in a toddler voice 'I hug my female friends so what?' When I told him my clear discomfort with him hugging on other women in front of me on a so called date. He was trying to get me to compete with his female 'friends' aka women he's probably slept with before or is thinking of using to replace me with if I 'act up.' I don't compete with any other women so obviously that backfired in his stupid ugly face.
I also feel men who have lots of female friends are most likely bisexual or DL covert narcissists and harbor a lot of mysogyny towards women and secretly hate women. Men can sense their DL vibes and stay away from their nasty effeminate toxic energy. Any man who's ever tried to befriend me even acquaintances have all tried to have sex with me at some point. Men cannot be trusted to be friends or even acquaintances period.
I am definitely wary of men who have mostly female friends either IRL or have 99% females in their friends list. As we know, men cannot be friends with women..ALL women are potential fucks to men. They keep themselves in women's orbits just in case one of them breaks up with their SO, or if one of them decides to give them a chance. I believe women CAN be friends with men, but men cannot be friends with women.
One of my exes pre-FDS was like that. He was a covert narcissist, for sure, and did triangulate, lie and cheat. He just always had to be involved with some woman or several. I think it's largely because women are more agreeable and empathetic, and, thus, would constitute a better source of narcissistic supply than the average man.
Back in my pick me days I really thought this was normal. Before I got into internet and groups I remember reading stuff on Quora and some people said it’s no big deal. But I think no matter what, men keep those woman on the back burner if anything. I had exs that kept in touch with woman from other areas every now and again and the convos always hinted at something flirty and now I know why. And the crazy thing is they would always get mad if I attempted to even speak to a man
Never met a guy like this who had good intentions.
Men who have mostly female friends are the male equivalent of the pickme who's only friends with guys because "women are so mean!" except there's the added element of sexual predation.
Healthy men need other healthy men around them. He SHOULD be bonding with other dudes. If he's not, he's either a creep or such a rude jackass that other men won't tolerate him.
I haven't had male friends for years. Over a decade at least. Even before FDS, I could see how they were no benefit to me. Just lying in wait like a hungry lion, preying on a gazelle, waiting for that weak moment that they could spring on me, pretending to be my friend. God I fucking hate men.
If he is not gay, then its super weird. Why is a straight man unable to befriend his bretherin?
YES. I noticed this since middle school. Any male who has majority or only female "friends" = women he was attracted to and asked out, rejected then offered friendship as a compromise to keep her in his back pocket for later.
I’ve never had a male friend who didn’t eventually try to use me for sex, except for one gay roommate. But I wouldn’t even trust a gay guy. One other “friend” who presented as very flamboyantly gay and made a big deal out of being gay, still had sex with me that I can barely remember because it was at a party when we were very young and I was too drunk to properly consent.
I also dated a guy briefly who went on and on about his female best friend and how she was “so hot” but married and how he would never make a pass at her. He said that he felt being seen out and about with her made him more attractive to other women. I guess that works for a lot of pick-me women because I have heard that and seen evidence of it before that a man becomes more desirable when he is already with someone beautiful. Idk I always saw a man being or trying to seem taken while still looking, to be a major turnoff.
so yes in my experience guys with female friends are creeps especially if one is a best friend or if he has a lot of them even if it’s just on Facebook. I just do not bother dating men with female friends because it’s never gone well for me.
This is an important post that does a wonderful job explaining a specific type of predator to watch out for and grasp with clarity. Covert narcissist/down low closet cases fit this EXACT profile. And I mean exact. You totally nailed it, sis.
An old scrote I dealt with was a covert narc and did not like to have sex very frequently, which was a manipulative power play thing. His aim was to breadcrumb women and get narcissistic supply off of them pursuing him. He had loads of women friends, 4 sisters who all dated much older men, an effed up mom who stole his credit as a kid, an abusive alcoholic dad, and played the “I’m from an alcoholic faaaaamily, you see…” sob story to fuckboi perfection. Also 2 former wives each left him when they each had 2 young children with him. Which says everything about his bad nature, since most married moms do not leave with kids that young unless he is clearly an abuser.
He very obviously got off on triangulation. The bit about his multiple woman friends having keys and total access to his home 🚩🚩🚩even fit the legal criteria of cohabitation. It was all this weird murky-boundaried Living Apart Together without saying it’s Living Apart Together. This house key 🔑 shit is a very specific red flag to notice. It’s never ok if your guy sets up access to his home like this!
I ended up dumping him when I realized there was a Queen PickMe “Friend” of his who had uprooted her little girls (who he was grooming) from out of state and moved them into the house next door, and enrolled them into his kids’ same private school. He also had major Mention-itis for this “friend/neighbor” looking back on it. He was mentioning her constantly without saying her name. Total covert narc scrote who deep down hates women, but most people think is a good dad and pillar of the community. Whew! Bullet dodged.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/esteemology.com/the-narcissist-and-his-harem-why-you-should-decline-membership/amp/
I can't find it. But there's an article where a guy ask her out in high school, she says no, he asks can they be friends and she says yes. After 10 years, being her best man at her wedding, he rapes her. So yeah, it's true.
That’s not necessarily been my experience. Have I had to deal with some hardcore crushes on me? Yeah. Were they necessarily creepy? No.
That being said I totally believe that some of them are creepy.
Sorry can someone tell me what “DL” means? Thanks!