Are all the good men taken by a certain age?

It's not that there aren't "good men left." Married men abuse women often.

Most men are not relationship material, and them being married often means the woman is doing the work to improve his image.

Men in general are garbage, if you met a few you’ve met them in general. The only thing you can do is not tolerate anything. Let them walk on egg shells, and let them know one simple display of disrespect means the relationship is over.

He should be afraid of losing you, be afraid of acting out, mouth you off or take his frustration out on you. And only way that is possible is by letting them know they are disposable. Men want to feel needed and wanted despite not having much of value to offer because by nature they want to get away with sh!t only their mommy would tolerate, and how can they achieve that? By latching on to a chick that needs them and wants to be loved.

Even the most well behaved man will act out when they get the slightest idea or confirmation that you will turn a blind eye to that. View men as trash or spoiled milk when they act out and leave them bewildered when you tosh them out without looking back.

This "all the good ones are taken" notion can lead down the toxic path of thinking you're in competition with other women to get the last of the "good ones". A man who is a good fit with another woman is not necessarily a good fit for you or me. We all have our own definition of "good".

If, to you, "good" is a man who has previous relationship experience... You don't need anyone else's permission to disqualify a man who lacks it. Your standards are your standards.

To me, "good" is a man who can handle being alone. Someone who is not in the habit of using women for status, or exploiting women's labour. Someone who chooses to be with me because he actually likes me, not because he needs a woman (any woman) by his side to lend him an air of credibility.

There are plenty of men who will latch onto a woman they don't even like, because they want to be perceived as one of the "good ones". These are parasitic men who can't survive without a woman in their life, so they go from relationship to relationship, even overlapping relationships (cheating), because they can't be left alone for 5 seconds.

So I would caution against assuming men who don't spend much time single are automatically waving green flags.

Always start with suspicion. Hell, take it with a grain of salt when a man presents himself as single. He could be taken and pretending to be single. That's so much worse than simply being single. 😂

I'd suggest to stay away from this mindset because it puts you in a position where you may lower your standards subconsciously. Only keep your mind on vetting crappy men out.

good men have not existed in my timeline

It’s hard to say. The bf I have now, we met a few months before I turned 31 and he was 32.

I think he’s HV and I used to wonder how he was single!

But I think it’s down to a few things- a hvm isn’t going to be compatible with everyone he meets. If he’s thoughtful about who he wants to marry, he will probably want to marry someone that checks a lot of his boxes. Maybe he’s had a hard time finding that or it’s possible he gets broken up with for reasons that aren’t bad. Like maybe he wants kids but dates a woman who doesn’t want them. Or maybe they have to break up because she’s moving away or some other circumstance.

Break ups are a part of life. You can be a good partner and it can still happen.

I think the other reason why a guy might be single at a certain age is, he was LV and made changes to become a HVM.

It’s up to you if you’d consider a reformed lvm high value. Some might not think it’s possible. But I personally do.

Many of us here were pick mes and there’s some members here that seem to still be a pick me but are learning.

I think it can be similar for men as well.

But DONT be fooled, most men do not change for good. Many fall back into old habits and it’s rare for a lvm to transform into a hvm. All you can do is vet and leave at the first sign of disrespect. Things that Fds teaches.

I personally don’t think it’s healthy to have defeatist mindset when it comes to dating. If you want to date, you’ll just have to take chances.

Avoid scarcity mindset... the handbook talks a lot about this and why we should avoid it.

Men are shit at any age and there are still great ones available at any age.

I don't want to think that way, only because I'm single pretty late in life.

I feel suspicious of 30+ single men too! For the exact same reasons. However, he might be a HVM looking for a HVW... There's a loooot of pickmes out there. but HVM are rarely single throughout their lives precisely because are HV.

Also, people can change as time goes by and they learn from their mistakes. FDSers used to be pickmes in the past, right? So maybe a man in his 30s can also be someone who is on his path to becoming a HVM, he's just not quite there yet.

I think the best approach is to vet and see if he's working on improving himself and his life. No one is perfect and no one was born ready. The fact that most men are shit should make HVM stand out.

May I introduce to you the cougar lifestyle? Don't knock it 'til you try it 💅