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Hi, I've been told I am wrong to expect to FIND a single man who lives on his own. This is partially true in my country (west europe) with the housing situation being horrible and with the culture itself pushing for young people to stay with their parents until they get a partner. However, I have saved all my life and worked hard for my place. I love my place (I did renovations too which I planned ahead of buying it for like 2 years and my place looks like something out of pinterest).
The idea of dating a man who lives with mommy and daddy and will then expect to move in with me SCARES me.
Not only that, but as we all know these type of men don't clean or cook, they have mommy doing that for them even if they are over 30. Men I go out with get extremely defensive when I ask them if they live alone. They give me a list of reasons why and etc. In the back of my mind I'm like fuck dude, I get it it's bad but at least have a PLAN or moving out it's something you're actively planning for?? They never do. The plan is always to find a woman and move in together to share costs. I'd love to hear similar experiences, and what I should look out for.
"The idea of dating a man who lives with mommy and daddy and will then expect to move in with me SCARES me."
It should scare you. It should scare all women.
If I live alone and own my own condo, you should too. End of story.
*edit to add: If a guy asks if YOU live alone, you reply, "Why? Are you homeless?" It shuts them up fast.
That's a totally reasonable standard to have. I wouldn't even date a man who still lives with roommates over a certain age. That's something for students, people who are just starting out and people who are struggling financially. How is a man who can't even afford to live alone in a small apartment going to properly provide for me and our potential family? I don't want to date anyone who is less financially secure than me.
I also don't want to deal with other people (family or roommates) also being there whenever I visit him and having to share the kitchen and bathroom with them. Imagine quickly going to the bathroom after you had sex and meeting his mom in the hallway...
It is responsibility of men to provide a woman with housing and food, not your job to provide him with shelter or share costs.
"share costs" = save money on a cook, housekeeper, decorator, aquisition specialist, personal shopper, and all the other benefits of exploitating women under the title "girlfriend" or "wife."
I only date men who own their own home. If he wants to build with me he needs to bring materials!
I've never met a man who lived at home or with another family member who wasn't regressed in some way. Every one of them came across as being incapable of fully adulting on their own.
If you can't afford housing, you definitely can't afford to date. Get ya priorities straight first.
Lmao men getting defensive and making excuses over a reasonable question are so unsexy. Red flag.
I live in a SEA country, and here too, it's normal for both men and women to live with their parents until they get married. As we all know, those guys never do shit at home and expect their wife to pick up their mom's job after the wedding. I don't judge women who live with her parents though, safety reasons aside, women don't usually sit around and do nothing.
It's normal to want a guy who's living independently. We can also vet for their cleanliness and if they know how to do chores by visiting their own place. No info about that when mommy does everything.
Everything you’ve said is correct, especially about how they get so defensive when you ask about their living situation. Every man who lives with mom and dad past an appropriate age has an excuse (saving for a house, taking care of parents, etc.). In EVERY instance I have given them the benefit of the doubt, I found out I was being lied to. Most of the time they just didn’t want to grow up or they didn’t have the work ethic to get a job that paid much above minimum wage. Are there exceptions? Maybe, but it’s not worth taking the chance when the odds are so low.
Why can’t these men at least get an apartment? Are apartments not really a thing where you live? Either way, you still deserve someone on your level.
It's a basic need for me too, I rent a cheap room and have a car, if a man doesn't have those things he's just going to use yours instead. Being independent isn't hard. It proves he can get his own food and do his own damn laundry, idc about cost effectiveness bc they make more money anyway. It's just another excuse to be a parasite.