Make it DIFFICULT for him to win your heart.

You have to understand, making things easy for him doesn't make you a "good person".

It makes you a TARGET.

Because what's holding LV men from endlessly trying their luck with you?

There's no barrier, nothing to hold them back, nothing that will deter them from you.

Yeah, you may get praises and being labelled "golden hearted" and nice and blah blah blah -- and you feel relieved that you are not the gold digger, selfish, vain, vapid, narcissist women that demand gold and glitter while "bringing nothing to the table";

but who you tryna prove yourself for?

You get there, dolled up and pretty and smelling good and perfect -- and he got there with stained shirt and last night's jeans -- and you end up being the one busy "proving" to him that you are "not like those other women tryna taking advantage of you, I am a strong independent woman, I can pay for myself!" the entire night.

And all he be thinkin' is "damn this one's easy."

And the next time you two went out for a date, he be asking to ride your car and accompany him doing laundry. He wanna show you the "real" him, ya know?

He is using your "golden hearted"-ness to make the bar lower and lower and before you know it, the sunk-cost fallacy kicks in and you are stuck with a human embodiment of a shrek. And dating the actual shrek is a far better option.

Listen, if you have to keep talking yourself into lowering your expectations to avoid getting hurt -- that is not "love", sis. That's stockholm sydrome.

Yeah, it gonna feel awful the first few times you makes yourself DIFFICULT to please and not making things easy for him.

But DIFFICULT women is like a pesticide to parasitic LV men. Because their pathetic sob stories won't work on you. You are not there to be his new mommy, you are judging his every actions and his every words, and mentally already mapping the exits and bidding your time to walk away.

Having boundaries, standards, demands, and rules will make you a mean b*tch to so many people you will even start to lose count -- but do realize our society at large is a patriarchal, male pandering, fawning society. So of course you will be attacked left, right, below, above, all sides.

But when you are DIFFICULT to please, you are erecting WALLS surrounding your fortress. And only the kind of men brave and capable enough to overcome the walls may challenge it in order to win your attention.

Doesn't matter if you feel like the unfortunatest potato in this damn world -- being DIFFICULT to please is a defensive strategy against shitty ass men, and you want to deter them as much as possible from the get go.

And besides, it is a given that you will be DIFFICULT.

You have tastes, you prefer things a certain way, you need this thing to be this way and that thing to be that way, and you need him to make this this way and that for you to feel safe and secure under his roof -- it is just basic biology, even animals know that.

But you were brainwashed growing up to shed yourself of all those things and becoming so selfless, so people pleasing, so independent and low-maintenance as possible -- because otherwise, who will continue to take care of their beloved men?

Yes, you are strong and independent and have your own money and ain't a princess and whatnot -- so you continue to be strong and independent and can pay your own food even on a date. A DAMN DATE.

Because that man needs to be impressed and need to be shown just how "worthy" you are of his attention and how "unlike those other vain vapid girls" you are -- and yet he is the one in stained shirt and last night's jeans.

Libfem's "empowerment" propaganda is still a fawning response to their beloved men -- while you still get all the shit and having to endure all sort of trashy experience.

Why does it always have to be you?

So what if you are a barista and he is a lawyer? He still asks you out, he still wants to be seen with a woman in public, he still get all the social cred because he has a woman in his arm -- he is the one gaining ALL the damn benefits from YOU.

And you still want to make it easy for him? Because you fear that if you offend him, he will no longer be interested in you and you gonna lose your golden ticket forever?

FFS sis, a shitty ass lawyer is still a shitty ass human being. LV men are everywhere -- and they are stingy as sh*t. You aren't getting a penny out of his stingy ass anyway down the road.

A genuine HV man that is sincere in pursuing you will not care about your socioeconomic status -- barista you, toilet cleaner you, janitor you, single mother you, whatever -- if he is interested, he will pursue you.

So make it DIFFICULT for him to win you over so that he can prove that he is in fact, very serious when he says he wants to date you.

And no, it doesn't always have to be candlelight dinner and expensive restaurants and endless gift if those aren't your thing;

But the core is to OBSERVE and VET and EVALUATE him over and over and over without falling into the bed of roses and rushing into saying "yes" to sleep with him and get yourself intoxicated and fogged up in lust and "love".

Take it slow, mind your pace, thanks his effort with grace, enjoy the dates -- but don't let yourself be so easily fawning over him and losing yourself in him.

Because you still have yourself, your life, your passions, your beloved people -- a man is just a percentage of the larger 100%, he is not the 100% itself. All those other things you painstakingly build over the years is not secondary to that man, understand?

And being DIFFICULT means that you know what you want and you won't compromise on your values and standards, and you aren't someone that can be easily influenced, much less coerced. So he better be genuine in his effort and ready to provide you all the safety and security you need, before you are convince he is in fact, the real deal.

And because you are the DIFFICULT woman -- you will always be ready to WALK AWAY the moment he starts slacking in his efforts to court you. Even when he already wed you -- because being DIFFICULT to please isn't just a phase, it is a lifestyle.

Be DIFFICULT so that he will keep being disciplined in courting you.

Stay safe, STAY WOMAN.