Very good episode!

Does anyone know when the Queens are coming back? They've been radio silent ever since this episode.

I've heard the terms but never looked up what any of this means, and it's like every time an attachment style is explained, I go "that could be me". And then hearing another attachment style defined: "that could also be me" 😅

Is this like one of those "psychic" things where the trick is just saying things that are so vague it's likely to apply to whoever you're talking to? 😆

I think it leans on the psyudeoscience side, becuase I realised this in the last few years: I am "anxious" when someone is playing mindgames, or I can definitely be "anxious" in the beginning stages because of how guys have treated me in the past. But I know I am capable of feeling "secure" when someone is treating me right and I feel like I can trust them.

Also, so much of the "dating advice" you see all over tiktok is how to freakin tip toe around "avoidants." idk it makes me feel like it's bs. Why do we have to dance around "avoidant" behaviour to not set it off? Or like right now, would I be considered "avoidant" because I am so fucking off men? Yet know I can get anxious like I mentioned.

Sorry for the ramble, that's my thoughts.

A srote I dated told me his last relationship didn't work out because they had different "attachment styles" . He was anxiously attached, while his ex was avoidant. It turned out he was always sad, seeking emotional support, and talking about his problems 24/7. Naturally, his ex wanted space from him. He only used "attachment styles" because his ex was enthusiastic about therapy terms. Scrotes love to steal ideas from their partners and use them to manipulate others.

I'm gonna listen to this when I have time. My immediate thought was that yeah it's real, it's just misapplied a lot. Me getting suicidal over someone who isn't in even in a relationship with me not texting me back is definitely anxious attachment. But if a woman is upset that her husband forgot her birthday, thats not anxious attachment thats just valid anger.

All the overpopularised pop psychology has its place. Attachment is a model, and just like any model it doesn't capture the entirety of the truth. It was never supposed to. It's just one way of describing the world.

Thank you so much for this episode. It got me thinking, maybe I have an anxious attachment to my job. Especially when Reux said that you get into relationships with personalities, not attachment styles. Maybe I have never had a job where I could state my needs (respect, more money) without repercussion. Maybe I don’t actually have anxiety about work, maybe I’ve just been in the wrong small companies my entire career. And if I worked for a better company, I wouldn’t feel as anxious about “being broken up with”. I’m going to think about this more today.

Love languages, learning styles, and attachment styles are all pop-psych junk. Theyre not real. People have personalities, and they cant necessarily be categorized using Freud-friendly vocab words. Just focus in what people think, say, and do. No need to categorize.